My Heart
by JustSmile1
Summary: Brian Kinney swears he will never let anyone so much as look at his heart. But when a certain blonde turns his life upside down, is there any way Brian will finally open up?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello. There are probably a few things about this story that should be known before it's read. 1 In my imagination everyone here has a heart that can be held and touched and looked out. They are born with it. Second, there is not really that much homophobia in my fantasy world, so when there is homophobic abuse it's very unusual and even more damaging. So I think that's everything, but if anyone gets confused don't hesitate to message me and I'll explain it better. Thanks**

I roll my eyes as Mel pushes the ring onto Lindsay's finger before bringing that same hand up to her lips and kissing it softly, tears in her eyes.

"Oh dear God... give me strength." I mutter as Lindsay grasps Mel's hand and they both turn their attention back to the Vicar. Debbie slaps my leg muttering something that sounds quite a bit like 'fucking...emotionless zombie' I smirk at her and watch as the Vicar steps forward and raises his hands.

"We will now experience the exchanging of hearts. Please could you bring the hearts forward," He said gently to Gus and I watched with pride as my little boy got up to his seat and handed the Vicar two wooden boxes.

I knew immediately which one was Lindsay's. The lighter brown box, was decorated with intricate drawing of hills and valleys and I knew immediately that it was Lindsay's for two reasons. One because everything about the box screamed her, and two because she had shown it me before.

Not that I would ever let anyone know this but I had always found Lindsay's heart quite beautiful. It was quite big for a heart and gave off a calm and wise aura. It was a deep red colour, with only the slightest shade of black in the left side of it. I knew Lindsay would have pretty much no black in her heart and I was not surprised in the slightest to find I was right, she was too pure and kind.

I wasn't really meant to have seen her heart, the heart is only ever meant to be seen by yourself, your parents, the doctor and your lover. But the fact was in some ways I considered myself Lindsay's lover because I had no doubts that were we straight we would have been together. In fact we were together once or twice and it had always been pleasant.

Mel's box was a dark mahogany colour and had less detail on the front of it. I took an immediate dislike to the box. I leaned forwards and rested my arms on my legs to try and watch the scene better.

This was the only reason I came to their wedding, normally I would have hated something that had such sentimentality and was so hetero but the exchange of hearts was something that I found... fascinating. Ideally what was meant to happen at the exchange of the hearts was that the two lovers would take their hearts out of their boxes and place them in their right hands.

Then they would place the hands that were holding their hearts next to each and was happened next was the moment of truth. Hopefully, the two hearts would bind themselves together, locking onto each other and fitting perfectly. When this was happening a flash of rainbow colours would light up the room and you couldn't help but feel ridiculously happy and content.

But and there's the magic word. But. If two people weren't destined to be together the hearts wouldn't re-act, they would just lie in their owners hands pulsing slightly and not only would the two people be humiliated in front of their friends and family, but they had also just exposed everyone to their hearts. Heart Failure- this was called and it was the biggest fear for any soon-to-be newlyweds.

This was just another in the long list of reasons why I will never get married. I'm not going to risk it, because almost never does anyone come away from a Heart Failure and stay with their partner. So why even try? If two people are so convinced that their hearts will bind if they meet, then why even go through with the whole marriage shit.

Because once experiencing a Heart Failure you will almost definitely lose the one person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Of course another annoyance of having two hearts bounded together is the fact that if the marriage is experiencing problems then the hearts will slowly separate from each other until the bounds are so lose that you can just pull them away from each other. When this happens it hurts, not just emotionally but physically too because your heart has just been ripped away from the heart that was keeping it beating.

And I didn't want this for Lindsay, truth be told I didn't give a fuck about Mel. But if Wendy got hurt because of this- I knew that it would break her. But she wanted this, and I wasn't going to stop her from what she wanted but I just didn't want to see her humiliated, so for the first time in a long time I prayed to a God I didn't believe in that this would go ok.

I watched as Mel and Lindsay placed their hands together slowly. It didn't happen at first, but when it did I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. The hearts flew into the air towards each other at a rate faster than lightening.

They crashed into each and the room was filled with brilliant lights, that were so bright I had to close my eyes, I felt the warmth flow through my body and smiled, against my better judgment, at the happiness that had taken over the room.

When the moment was over and the Vicar declared that they could now 'Kiss the brides' I sniffed and sat up straight, rolling my eyes as Lindsay and Mel became locked into a passionate embrace.

"Ain't it just the most beautiful thing?" Deb asks me, shifting in her seat to turn and face, tears in her eyes.

I rolled my eyes at her "Yeah, it's all sunshine and roses." I reply, the sarcasm evident in my tone.

"Don't be such an asshole." She scowls at me hitting me lightly over the back of my head.

"Can't help it," I say back smirking at her, before leaning over and planting a kiss on her cheek and Mel and Lindsay sweep past me.

The reception, is pretty much the same as the wedding. Dull and very boring, I scan my eyes over the crowd of people sitting at the table or on the dance floor, none of them look even remotely fuckable.

I look up from my seat to see Lindsay gliding over to me, before sitting herself in Michaels empty chair next to me.

"You came." She says smiling at me.

"Way to state the obvious, but yes I came." I answer, rolling my eyes. "So Wendy you finally grew up?"

"Everyone has to grow up some time Peter." She answers softly but I ignore her, instead pushing away from my chair and dropping a kiss on her lips.

"Congrats," I whisper as I pull away, and she smiles up at me as I make my way over to the dance floor.

But before I can even reach Michael, I feel as my shirt quickly becomes very damp and I glance up into the outstanding blue eyes of one of the waiters.

".Fuck?" I growl at him angrily, suddenly noticing how stunningly beautiful this man is. I feel my stomach lurch in a way it never has before.

"I'm so sorry sir. I tripped and it all went over... I'm really sorry. How can I help?" He replies quickly and I watch as his cheeks flush a deep red.

I feel as the blood rushes to one of my areas too and I'm surprised at how much I want this man, in a way I've never wanted any other twink. I step towards him and stare down into the piercing blue eyes of the blond haired beauty.

"There are many many ways you can help me." I drawl at him, as my lips brush over his ear. I can feel as he gasps and shudders and I guide the hand that isn't holding an empty glass to my cock. He jerks away from me and I stare at him in surprise.

"No, thanks._ Sir_. I'm sure you'll find someone else to help you with your _needs_." He smirks at me and I find myself staring at the blonde.

So, he isn't easy, he has somehow resisted the Kinney charm and he has the balls to show me attitude. I find myself growing more and more attracted to him as the time goes by.

"Sunshine!" I hear Debbie's surprised voice ring through the air and I turn to see her standing behind me, a massive grin on her face.

"Deb?" The boy replies equally as surprised and I watch as Debbie pulls him in for a bone-cracking hug. I stare at the two of them, a frown on my face.

"Okay? What the fuck am I missing?" I ask her, looking between the two of them.

"Brian, this is Sunshine." Debbie replies and I raise my eyebrows at the name as the Sunshine kid blushes again. "Oh, sorry, this is Justin. Justin Taylor. He just started to work at the Diner and I got him the job here at the wedding. Lindsay really likes him, and he's an artist. Lindsay says he works brilliant, and I have to admit it's fucking fantastic." Debbie gushes and I smirk at how obviously she adores the kid already.

Justin stands there staring at the floor not replying to Debbie's praise. Debbie gives him a slight push.

"Don't be so fucking modest Sunshine. Your work is fucking brilliant and you know it." Debbie states but I can tell from the kid's manner that he doesn't really believe that himself.

"Fuck, Brian what happened to your shirt?" Debbie asks and I look down at the bright orange stain that has appeared in my new Armani shirt. Justin grins sheepishly, and I glare at him.

"Sunshine!" Debbie laughs "You did this?"

"Not on purpose." He replies but his eye's glint mischievously and I can't tear my gaze away from him.

"Look I am really sorry about your shirt, um Brian?" He asks and I nod my head "But I really have to get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow at 10:00 am Deb?" He says turning to Deb and she nods and grins, and he smiles a sunshine smile back before heading off out of sight.

"Isn't he just the most fucking adorable thing you've ever seen?" Debbie beams at me and though I roll my eyes a part of me, deep deep down, is nodding vigorously along with her.

As Deb walks over to Mel to offer her congratulations I sigh dramatically. Looks like I know where I'll be spending tomorrow morning.

Review Please!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone. Right for off all I have to mention InconspicuousBunny, I am so grateful for your support and help, so thank you very much.

I glanced down at the paper, then back up at Debbie, then back down at the paper, then back up at Debbie. Finishing off Debbie's face was relatively easy, her face had good lines and a good shape, so it wasn't that difficult.

Debbie had let me have a break since I'd been working for 2 hours pretty much non-stop and I was grateful for it. I had grown ridiculously fond of Debbie in a very short space of time and I couldn't help but start to draw her. The current picture was of Debbie holding a plate of food in one hand and laughing. She laughs a lot and so I thought that it was the best way to capture her.

Her hair was even more fun to draw. It was so wild and such a good expression of Debbie that I couldn't help the smile that formed while I was drawing her.

As I began to draw her body, I stopped at her chest. Instead of writing the caption that was on her bright yellow shirt I began to shape in what I thought Debbie's heart would look like. Once the basic outline of the heart was finished, I bit my lip and watched Deb move her way around the diner. I couldn't give the drawing to her now as I had intended to. It had suddenly become a lot more personal now that I was creating Debbie's heart.

If hearts weren't such a private and personal thing, I would spend all of my time drawing them. I had always liked to imagine what a heart would look like just by watching people. It could be seen as stereotyping people by imagining their hearts, and it was probably was but that didn't stop my fascination.  
Debbie's heart was, in my mind, very big and gave off a very loud aura. If I had colours it would be in the brightest red there ever was. I started to draw in the lines and imperfections each heart has to make them unique.

These lines were what represented a human's life, slight cracks and tears showed the pain that they had been put through and the darker shade of black showed where a human's 'bad' side came through. Quite a few people failed to show their hearts at their weddings just because they were embarrassed about the shade of black.

I remembered the day Gandhi had shown his heart on television, even I had cried at the pure beauty of it. It was perfectly shaped and a deep rich red colour. He had no black on his heart, and this had stunned me beyond words. He was that pure a person that no black would ever infect him.  
I stared at my drawing of Debbie and back up at her, something about my drawing didn't fit. Debbie, though full of brash words and a deep belly laugh, seemed deeper than my drawing, more real and I bit my lip slightly. If I wasn't going to give the drawing to her anyway, surely it didn't matter what I added to her and so I slowly etched in a crack right down the middle of her heart.

A Heart Break. I knew that it was pretty unlikely that something like that had ever happened to Debbie, but something about her seemed to tell me she was in a lot more pain than she would ever let on. It saddened me to think that Debbie might have had the hardest ordeal in the world to deal with, it always seems to happen to the nicest of people.

I watched as Debbie stared at a young couple who were seemingly completely in love. The man cupped his partner's cheek lovingly before leaning over and kissing it. I watched as Debbie took a deep breath before asking for their order in her happy-go-lucky tone of voice. It only seemed to heighten my suspicion of a hidden sadness but I couldn't think about things like that.

People's dramas and hearts had nothing to do with me, however much I wanted them. I shifted on my stool and looked up to see Debbie's smiling figure in front of me. Shit!  
"What's that Sunshine?" She asked and I felt sick. 

"It's nothing Deb, nothing you want to see," I replied and tried to shove my drawing pad in my bag, which was hanging off the edge of my chair. 

"Well, it's obviously something. Let me have a look. You know how much I love you're drawings," she beamed at me, pulling the pad out of my hands. "You're drawings are always so beautiful Sunshine, if you don't make it as an artist.…" She trailed off as her eyes scanned the image I'd sketched of her.

I glanced guiltily at the floor and waited for the screaming because I know Debbie has every right to be pissed at me. I probably would be if I found out that some little fag artist had been imagining what my heart would look like.

"Sunshine," Debbie muttered thickly and I looked up to see the tears falling down her cheeks. She grabbed a chair from one of the tables and pulled it up next to mine.

"How do you know?" She asked me shakily and I stared at her surprised.

"I'm sorry?" I replied, blinking dumbly at her.

"My heart. How do you know that's what it looks like?" She questioned, not seeming angry but more curious as she brushed the remaining tears away.

"I don't know, Deb," I replied sadly. "I just have this … almost an intuition sometimes about people's hearts. I've always had it and sometimes I can't help but draw them out. I know that it's really rude to do it, I'll tear it up, if you want. Originally, it was going to just be a simple drawing of you, but I felt like you had an underlying sadness and I thought that this might have been the reason."

"Well, fuck me. You got me dead on, Sunshine. Yeah, I got my heart broken when I was a lot younger, a lot more naive. Well, fucking stupid is what it was. Put my trust in a guy who took my heart and stomped on it, crushed it, fucking tore it apart is what he did. No-one has ever guessed apart from Michael, I think maybe Brian suspects but he never asks - as if he would." Debbie laughed conversationally but I watched as her eyes changed.

They became lost in memory and sadness and I knew that she could swear about it, laugh about it, joke about it but Debbie's Heart Break was a lot more serious than her version of it would seem.

"He had my everything, heart and soul," Debbie's voice said softly, so quiet I wasn't sure if I made it up. "But, as I always say; you can sit on your ass and moan and complain or you can move the fuck on. Personally, I think moving the fuck on is the better option, don't you Sunshine?" She asked me and I nodded my head in agreement.

"You're a good kid," she murmured, before patting my cheek and taking an order over to another table.

I let out a sigh of relief and ran my hands through my hair. I stared at the drawing for a few minutes before tearing it out of the pad and placing it on top of Debbie's jacket, which was lying beneath the counter.

I stood up and stretched my legs before wandering over to Debbie whilst tying my apron on.

"Sunshine, could you do that table over there?" Debbie asked me pointing vaguely in the direction where Lindsay was sitting.

"Sure," I replied grabbing my pad and walking over.

"What can I get you guys?" I asked, turning the page over and twisting the pen in my hand before glancing back up at the table.

"Justin!" Lindsay cried and I grinned at her.

"Hey," I replied, looking over at the woman sitting next to her. Lindsay saw where I was looking and grabbed the woman's hand.

"This is my beautiful wife, Melanie," Lindsay gushed, looking at Melanie with an adoring gaze and I rolled my eyes whilst she was looking at her wife, which earned me a chuckle from the other side of the table.

"Yeah, we met at your wedding," I replied, grinning at Mel.

"You did? I don't remember," Lindsay replied, frowning.

"Yeah, you were pretty wasted," I said laughing softly.

"Oh," she blushed a little, while Mel kissed her cheek.

"Good to see you again Justin," Mel told me and I smiled at her.

"You too."

I watched as she leaned in to kiss her partner and I turned my attention to the people opposite her.

"You!" I gasped, staring at the man, who I'd spilt orange juice over at Lindsay's wedding.

"And you," he drawled at me, his eyes flashing and I realised I'd forgotten how beautiful this man was. If I didn't know better I'd have thought he was some sort of Greek God.

"You two know each other?" A voice asked surprised and I looked over to the man sitting next to Brian.

He seemed cool enough but his eyes were cold and kept staring me up and down. I smirked at him, he was obviously smitten with Brian. His eyes would flash to the taller man as if to check he was still there and the adoration in his gaze was obvious.

"Mikey, this is Sunshine. Sunshine, Mikey," Brian answered, keeping his eyes locked on mine and I was a little bit shocked to see the lust and want in them.

"Sunshine?" Mikey laughed coolly, mocking me and I felt my cheeks blush.

"Yeah Sunshine, you got a problem with that?" Debbie's voice rang out behind me and I turned to see her standing with her hands on her hips.

"No, Ma," Mikey replied sighing and I smirked at him. Ma? Debbie was his mother? I laughed internally at this meek little man having Deb as a mother. They seemed so different already, and I had only met Mikey for a less than a minute.

"Lindsay have a look at this," Debbie replied and I watched as she shoved my drawing on the table right under Lindsay's nose.

I watched Lindsay gasp and knew I had made a horrible error with the drawing. What was I thinking drawing Debbie's heart? Sure she had seemed fine with it, but no-one could be okay with someone else imagining their heart. Fuck. I tried to back away slowly, when I felt a hand on my arm.

I turned to see Brian gently holding my arm, and his eyes seemed to say, 'it's fine, relax.' It was funny the effect his hazel eyes had on me. I could get lost in their depths and I relaxed immediately. I didn't even know this man but somehow I trusted him as I would trust a best friend, or lover. I frowned at the thought and shook my head a little before I stepped back up to the table and fiddled with the pad of paper looking anywhere but at Lindsay.

"Debbie, I should..." I started to whisper but Lindsay held up her hand.

"Who drew this?" She asked awe apparent in her voice and I frowned.

"Justin did," Debbie replied firmly and I felt myself blush. Again.

"Yeah, well it's only in rough and the colours aren't, I mean I haven't added colour and I know the lines are a bit off but it was only a sketch and about the whole heart business I didn't mean to draw her heart it just burst out of me and I..."

"Justin this is amazing," Lindsay's voice broke through my rambling and I stared at her in shock.

"What?" I asked, my eyebrows lifting.

"This is really, really good. Brian have a look at this," she said and pushed my sketch across the table to Brian.

"Justin, you are really talented. How is it that you're working here at the diner?" She asked her voice incredulous.

"Urm, I'm trying to pay my way through art school, though at the moment it looks like I'm going to have to drop out." I explained a little embarrassed about my money problems.

"What? Why?" Lindsay's voice rose slightly higher and I blinked at her in surprise.

"Because my asshole of a father is refusing to pay for my tuition and I'm not making anywhere near enough money to be able to stay at PIFA. So, yeah. Dropping out seems like a better option," I finished and tried to look anywhere but at the hazel eyes that were staring right at me.

"Debbie, can I…?" I asked her desperate for any excuse to get away from the group of people watching me.

"Yeah, sure Sunshine. Take a break honey," she said and smiled at me as I passed her and pushed open the back door suddenly desperate for some air.


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again I can't take all the credit for this, InconspicuousBunny I absolutely adore you for the help you have given me. She's amazing!**

It was quite a cold day, the kind where the air was crisp and the grass was covered in dew and frost. Gus loved days like these because of the noise the grass made, when you walked on it. I smiled as I pushed my hands further into my pockets and walked through the park.

The trees stood tall and the playground was empty and silent. I knew that moms, like Lindsay and Melanie, would never let their kids play out in this weather, in case they caught a cold or something like that.

My thoughts drifted to Justin, I'd heard fuck all from him since that day in the diner. He'd run out to get some air and though I'd waited he hadn't come back and I'd had to go into work.

I remembered the scared look in his eyes, when Deb had shoved the drawing under Lindsay's nose, he was so panicked that if I hadn't grabbed his arm, I was sure he would have bolted out of there. He obviously didn't see how incredibly he talented he was.

He had captured Debbie right on, grasping all the quirks and traits of Debbie that made her special in one sketch. But he'd also depicted the sadness and weight that Debbie carries with her. Although he had made the Heart Break obvious, it wasn't just that.

He had captured the tiredness and slight regret that was always in her eyes whether she tried to hide it or not.

He'd been scared because he'd drawn Debbie's heart so loudly and so clearly, issues like that were never usually so open but he'd taken the risk and pulled right through it and, for that, he had my respect. He was a mystery to me, his modesty and naivety made me want to protect him fiercely and I had never felt like that before.

In truth, it frightened the hell out of me.

I glanced around to find that, during my daydreaming my feet had taken me completely off the main sidewalk and I was now stood on a slightly muddier path. There were trees, which loomed over me, dulling the light.

I looked forward to see a mop of blonde hair that I would recognise anywhere. I started forward cautiously, I wasn't quite sure of how to approach the kid. He'd been avoiding me for a while now, so I wasn't sure if going up and talking to him was the best idea but my legs and feet kept moving.

It was as if I was drawn to him, like he'd attached a rope to my stomach and was pulling me in. I came to a stop at the bench he was sitting at. His eyes were glued to the pad of paper in front of him. I watched him for a while enjoying the way his brows furrowed in concentration and the way he would bite his lip when he wasn't sure the image looked right.

"It's a bit cold to be drawing, isn't it?" I asked, watching as he jumped in shock before lifting his blue eyes to mine. He paused for a moment as if debating whether he could run before it was too late.

"No, not really," he answered back, turning his body to face me. "I don't really feel the cold when I'm drawing,"

"Well, that's good. It's fucking freezing out here. How long have you been sitting there?" I asked, shifting on my feet slightly to keep my legs from becoming too cold. He shrugged and turned back to his drawing.

"Not sure, an hour maybe," he replied, his eyes flitting from the scene directly in front of him and then back to the paper.

I sat down next to him and looked over at his latest creation. It was a picture of two trees with their branches reaching slowly out towards each other. The sky is cloudy and grey, much like today's weather.

The trees are stood quite a distance away from each other and, even though they are just trees with no human emotion, the way he's drawn them makes them look lonely; lonely and pining for each other. Which was of course, complete bullshit for two reasons. One, they're trees and aren't capable of that emotion and two because pining is a waste of time that even trees shouldn't have to be made to suffer.

"It's not done yet," he spoke suddenly and I lifted my eyes to see his staring right back at me.

I was suddenly aware of how very close we were and how hot he looked with his cheeks flushed from the cold, and all I wanted was to grab him, take him back to the loft and fuck him into oblivion.

"It's good," I said to him and he shrugged modestly, not quite understanding that if I say something's good then it's a fucking masterpiece.

We sat silently together and it wasn't an awkward silence. It was comfortable. I watched as he continued to add shading and texture to his drawing before he pulled the pencil away and stared at the trees for a while.

"Do you think, if I added…" he trailed off and I looked at him intently for a minute, trying to figure out if he knew that the words had come from his lips or not. He lifted his eyes to mine and the wind blew a few golden strands across his face.

This boy was different. It wasn't just lust I was feeling when I looked at him, like it normally is with other tricks because I didn't just want to fuck him, I wanted to know him. I wanted spend time with him and just talk to him.

I watched as he turned back to his drawing as he slowly pencilled in a heart on one of the trees and a heart on the other, matching them perfectly.

It all seemed to happen very slowly. I felt the lurch in my stomach as the boy's leg brushed against mine, and the warm feeling in my chest as I watched the boy smile at his drawing. I let myself get lost in these emotions for a while before a car horn somewhere in the distance pulled me out of it.

It suddenly became very difficult to breathe as I watched the boy draw, I knew what this was. God Mikey had told me about it enough times to recognise it.

It was the Heart Beat. The very first signs of an attraction between two people. I could feel my heart, not the one tucked safely in my chest, but the one in my box, beating and it scared me.

This couldn't be happening because of a blonde haired twink, who I didn't even fucking know. I'm Brian Kinney, my heart beats for no-one.  
I pushed myself off the bench and Justin looked up at me in surprise.

"You going?" He asked and I saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes, which just made me want to get the fuck out of there.

"Yeah, I've got stuff to do. Can't just sit here staring at trees all day," I smirked and walked away from him before he had a chance to say anything that might make me stay.

I found my way back to the loft and got out the booze. I had to stay away from Taylor, just until all the heart shit blows over.

My heart belongs to me and to me only, there is no way some bubble butt artist will _ever_ change that.

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I really can't take all the credit for this and I'm pretty sure you guys all know by now who I have to thank for this but I'm still going to thank her because she's amazing. InconspicuousBunny, I hope I've made it clear how grateful I am to you. **

"Sunshine, sweetie?" Debbie called, trying to get my attention. I lifted my chin from the palm where it had been resting and looked at Debbie, who was stood directly opposite me on the other side of the counter.

"Oh, sorry Deb. What did you want? I didn't hear," I murmured, trying to shake myself from my daydream.

"I hadn't said anything yet but I will now. You can't just sit around waiting for Brian to show up and sweep you into his arms," she said sympathetically and I sat up straighter.

"Why do you think I want him to sweep me away?" I replied defiantly.

"Oh honey, it's obvious you like him. Every time he comes in here or you bump into him at my house your face practically lights up," she smiled at me and I frowned and looked down at my hands.

"Why does he run away, Deb?" I sighed. "I don't get it, he was all for talking to me one minute and then next he was trying to get away from me as fast as he could. It's fucking annoying,"

"Yeah but that's just Brian. You scare him, Sunshine. He likes you more than a usual trick that he just fucks and forgets and it's freaking him the fuck out. He doesn't know what to do, so he does what Brian always does, he hides. He pretends like he hates you in hope that you'll just walk away and leave him alone," she explained sadly.

"Sometimes I feel like that's what I should do," I muttered and idly played with the napkin that had been left on the counter.

"Like fuck you should. Sunshine, you're the only one who's been able to get this much of a reaction out of him, and I know he's got a reaction out of you," she smiled knowingly and I blushed unwillingly.

It was true, he'd got my heart to beat. I'd felt it that day when he'd seen my drawings and when I'd got it out of its box, sure enough it had been pumping frantically, quivering with desire to get out of the box and bond with the heart of Brian.

Yeah like that would ever happen, I scoffed internally.

"You've got to fight for him. Sunshine, instead of him fighting for you. Because I'll tell you now, Brian Kinney doesn't do love, he just does fucking," she scoffed. "What a load of bullshit. He's perfectly capable of love. He just shows it by his actions instead of by his words. You gotta chase him for a bit, not give up easily that kinda thing."

"Thanks Deb," I smiled at her. "That's good to know,"

"Anytime," she replied and walked away before stopping suddenly and turning back to face me.

"Oh and Sunshine, unless you get yourself moving and clear up these tables this instant, I'll have your ass," she threatened and I pushed away from my stool and pretty much ran to get the tables cleared.

I began to pick up the plates and balanced them on my arm expertly.

"Hey Justin," Kiki, the waitress, called and I jumped suddenly, bumping the table and knocking something over in the process.

I turned very slowly to see a drinks glass on its side with its content pouring all over the table.

I groaned at the sight of sticky lemonade stretching out over the table, running as far as it could. I turned my head slightly, balancing the plates in both hands.

Kiki smirked at me from the doorway to the kitchen and I scowled at her, looking back at the spilt drink.

"Yes, yes I know. I'll clear it up in a minute," I sighed as I walked past her into the kitchen and dumped the plates on the side, leaving them there until I could put them in the dishwasher. I grabbed a dishcloth from the side, and wrung it out before walking back over to the doorway.

I pushed past Kiki, and avoided eye contact knowing that she would still be wearing that annoying little smirk on her face.

"I'll do the dishes for you," she called after me and I spun around flashing her a massive smile of thanks.

I twirled the dishcloth in my hands absentmindedly until I reached the table and began to mop up the liquid. I heard the door open and turned to see who the next customer was.

Brian Kinney came strolling through the door and I stiffened up in surprise, trying desperately to remain calm. He pulled off his shades and grinned at Debbie who was behind the counter. His eyes swept the room until they landed on me and I saw him freeze.

I smiled gently at the reaction I had on this man. I hadn't seen him since that day in the park, where he had made up some bullshit excuse to get away from me, and I knew he had been avoiding me ever since.

Just like I had been, after the picture incident. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours and I gladly took the opportunity to gaze at the perfection of him. He was so beautiful and yet so cold, I felt shivers just looking at him.

I saw his eyes flicker to Debbie before he turned around and promptly marched back out through the door.

"No, no, no, no," I muttered as I ran out the diner to catch up with him. I vaguely heard Debbie yell my name but there was no way I was going to let him go this time.

"Brian!" I yelled, as I dodged past the people and squinted into the sunlight, trying desperately to find him.

After about a minute of frantic searching, I saw him on the other side of the road and I scowled at his running away, remembering what Deb had told me earlier. I wasn't going to give up easily, if he thought that I was just a nameless trick then he had another thought coming.

I set my shoulders in determination and sprinted out into the road, only noticing the car as the pain pierced my body.


	5. Chapter 5

Time froze.

Whenever I had heard that saying; whether it was Mikey quoting it to me from some piece of shit he called a romance novel or whether it was from some crap, over the top, news story, where the witness said it, I had always scoffed and laughed at the pure stupidity of the statement. 

But now, as his scream still echoed in my ears, I couldn't think of a more appropriate saying. Because the second the car touched his body, everything stopped

The people seemed to disappear and it felt as though everything in my body had frozen in shock. All I could think was _Justin, Justin, Justin_.

Justin gave another whimper and it was as if a bucket of lukewarm water had been thrown over my body, awakening me from my frozen position.

I pushed through the crowd that had gathered and ran to cradle the body of the blonde, who in such a short space of time, had turned my world upside down.

"Justin, Justin, Justin," I yelled, as I knelt beside his body. His arm was bent at an odd angle and his legs were lain out in front of him, a pool of thick red blood had pooled around his head and I stroked his beautiful face with my fingers, careful not to move his body.

"Fuck," I whispered and I sat myself down in the pool of blood and continued to stroke the boys cheek, unable to look at his face.

I ran my fingers through his dyed red strands of hair and stared straight in front of me.  
_  
He's just asleep, he's just asleep, he's just asleep._ I thought to myself, not allowing any other thought to cross my mind as I stroked the blonde's hair.

I was vaguely aware of the noise around me. The car was directly in front of me, and the driver of the car was sat crying on the floor. People seemed to be shouting and crying and I dimly recognised the sound of an ambulance in the distance, the sirens sounding like a lullaby compared to Justin's tears.

Not that any of it mattered, all I could feel was Justin's face growing cold under my touch and the rip in my heart. That heart-shattering pain that wouldn't go away.

I felt as unfamiliar hands tried to lift him away from me and I looked up into the face of death. The hooded man, whose black cloak shrouded his body. I felt as a snarl ripped through my body. He was mine.

I pushed Justin's body up towards mine and closed my eyes tightly, the tears beginning to fall.

"Brian, sweetie?" A voice, thick with tears whispered, and warm hands encircled my shoulders.

"Deb?" I croaked softly, and I heard the sob escape from her lips.

"Brian honey, the paramedics need to take Justin to the hospital. To help him. He won't…. He won't…. Fuck, he won't survive if you don't let go of him Brian," she murmured and I shook my head quickly.

"I can't let go, Ma," I whispered.

"I know sweetie, but I need you to. Justin needs you to," she spoke softly and the tears fell faster.

I loosened my grip on his body and felt as he was taken from my arms by a stranger. My shoulders slumped in resignation but I pushed myself off the ground and stood up, opening my eyes, feeling the gaze of a thousand people on me. I turned away from the ambulance and saw as Mikey came running towards me, shoving his cell into his pocket as he pushed through the crowds. His hand reached out for mine and I locked my fingers around his tightly.

"Sir, excuse me? Sir?" A female voice interrupted and I slowly turned around. I looked down at a petite ginger women, in a nurses uniform.

"If you would like, you can travel with him to the hospital and wait outside as he undergoes surgery?" Her voice was professional but understanding at the same time and my eyes found Deb's.

She nodded and smiled slightly in encouragement. I turned my gaze back to the nurse and fixed her with a cold stare.

"No, he's nothing to do with me," I spoke and my voice was thick with emotion. I turned back and let Mikey pull me away, hearing Debbie's indignant cry as we left.

As I sat in Mikey's car, I knew what they would be thinking. It's what they would all be thinking; Brian Kinney is a heartless who loves nobody but himself.

They would never guess the real reason. They would never guess that I had turned down the offer, because the thought of Justin hurt left me shaking with anger and such intense pain that I didn't know how to cope with it. They would never think that.

They would think that it would be better for Justin to stay away from a worthless shit like me, someone who would hurt him. He deserved someone who could make him happy. And like I had been told so many times by some many people, I have no heart so I definitely didn't deserve the love of Sunshine.

My worth had always been made clear to me. Of what I deserved. My dear parents had informed me of that from a very young age and though she doesn't say it, I can tell a small part of Debbie, a very small part, despised me for not being able to love her son in the way he loves me.  
Mikey, himself, hated me for not loving him back. For that, I can't blame him. Mel had never made it a secret that she thinks that I'm a bad father to Gus.

How do I know these things? Because they always believed that I'm some kind of superhuman. One who isn't affected by words and jibes, and to some extent they're right. They seemed to bounce off me now, but that doesn't stop them coming back to haunt me when I'm alone in my loft.  
Mikey's touch bought me back to reality and I saw we had stopped in front of my building. I unfastened the seatbelt and dumbly stepped out of the car, feeling as the breeze rushed past my face. Mikey ran around the car and hooked an arm behind my back.

He guided me up the stairs and we made our way up to the loft.

Once inside, Mikey helped me have a shower and he washed away the dried blood that had stained my skin. I felt as the tears softly began to flow again at the thought of Sunshine's body lying limp on the cold ground. I squeezed my eyes shut and winced in pain.

Mikey towelled me down, stroked away the tear stains on my cheeks and guided me to my bed.

"Do you want me to stay?" He murmured and I shook my head.

"Go," I muttered. "Go check on Debbie," _and Justin_. I didn't speak the last part but I knew he understood.

He nodded and pressed his lips softly to mine, lingering a little too long as if to double check that I wouldn't jump him.

"Love you, Bri," he whispered softly, before climbing off the bed and walking out the door. Leaving me in the darkness.

As the door shut behind him, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and placed my head in my hands. I pulled at my hair before getting down on all fours and pulling a wooden box out from under the bed.

The maple wood box lay on my bed, the mattress dipping under its weight. The dark, mahogany wood glinted and I smiled painfully at the beauty of my box. The intricate swirls and turns of the pattern depicted me brilliantly. Fast-moving and yet beautifully complex and elegant.

I hadn't looked inside the box since the birth of Gus, the only time I felt my heart beat and was happy about it, the birth of Gus had given my heart a very healthy glow. Ever since then I had refused to look at the one thing that made me completely human. I took a deep breath before very slowly lifting the lid and I winced at the sight of my heart.

It was a very light red colour, almost pink but it was beating erratically, and I knew why. It wanted to find Justin's heart, find it and embrace it, hold it tight and breathe life back into it.

I crawled back into bed and cradled the box next to me, staring at the heart. I knew that if Justin were to die my heart would break into two before it stopped beating. It was a fucking awful thought and I was scared to fall asleep for fear of this.

My heart only had two blemishes whereas a normal heart would have thousands. On the left hand side of it was a long, healed scar. The scare was shaped into J and I was unsure whether it was to stand for Jack or for Joan. All I knew was that it had formed sometime in my childhood, and had been a reminder ever since of all the bullshit my parents had put me through.

The scar on the right hand side of my heart was fresh and raw. It was long and jagged, cutting deep into the heart and I knew that it had been formed the minute Justin's body had come into contact with that car.

An unknown tear fell from my face and dropped onto the cut in my heart and I hissed with agony as the cut began to bleed lightly. I let my head fall back onto my pillow and watched my heart beat.

As my eyes began to droop shut I promised myself I would never cry tears over anyone or anything again.


	6. Chapter 6

It was kind of like drowning.

It was peaceful for a few minutes, until the pain kicked in. It was sharp and quick and all over your entire body. Every essence of your body was burning for the pain to stop, and you wanted to scream from the hurt but somehow you couldn't open your mouth. You begged to be able to speak, to be able to breathe, but it didn't happen.

The hurt remained for a while, and all you could do was wait in silence for it stop. After what seemed like years, a sharp prick would pierce your elbow and then the blackness would mercifully come and sweep you away from it all.

When you awoke, you could hear voices, but they were distant, like a memory. The sounds blurred together and it became difficult to make out the words that were being spoken. You focused on just one voice and the distinct bellow of Debbie sounded like a lullaby to your ears.

Her voice was worried and you didn't know why. You tried to open your eyes and smile at her but it was like you had been pinned down and your eyes had been glued together. You tried to reach your arm out to her but it wouldn't move, so you tried your leg, foot, hand, head, all with same result.

You were stuck.

So, you started to panic. You tried with all your might to move your body but it didn't work and the annoying beeping sound was getting faster and faster and you prayed that it would stop because you knew that for some reason it is bad sound. Because you knew that bleeps like that were never a good thing. In your dad's impressive car that meant you were about to reverse into something but there was no car, so maybe you were going to reverse into something; maybe you were going to crash.  
**  
**You felt warmth on your hand and Debbie was crooning softly to you, saying your name over and over. Justin, Justin, Justin, but it didn't work. Why can't you see?  
As you struggled with yourself, you could feel movement around you and it scared you even more.

You felt the prick in your elbow and you knew that soon the blackness would come but you fought against it. You didn't want to sleep anymore, you wanted to see.

As the black flooded your senses and everything became hazy, an image flashed across your mind, an image of a beautiful man. A beautiful, beautiful man. Who he is you had no idea, but you allowed yourself to let go of the fight and drift away into the darkness with the image of the perfect stranger calming you.

XXXXXXXXXX

I slipped out of my vest quietly, and laid it down on my lap, twisting the colourful badges around and around, in circles. It seemed somehow inappropriate to continue to wear the brightly coloured vest being in a hospital and all, but in the panic I had forgotten to take it off until now.

I watched his sleeping body with my own frantically beating heart. My eyes flickered constantly to the heart rate monitor he was hooked up to; the now steady beeping was the only sound in the room.

I looked over to Jennifer who was watching her son, the tears pouring down her face. My heart went out to her and I ran my hand through my hair.

"Mrs Taylor?" A doctor asked me and I shook my head and pointed to Jennifer who walked shakily around her son's bed and shook the doctor's hand.

"My name is Dr Peters. I have the latest test results for your son's condition," he spoke professionally and Jennifer nodded softly.

"Would you mind waiting outside Mrs…" he trailed off and looked at me expectantly.

"No, no, it's okay. Debbie you can stay," Jennifer said quietly and took the seat next to me and placed it carefully near to Justin's bed, minding the wires and tubes that he was hooked up to.

"And it's Ms," I informed him loudly, earning me a small twitch of the lips from Jennifer.

"Okay then. Whilst it's difficult to know what exactly we are dealing with while Justin is in this state," he said, glancing at his clipboards, "we do have reason to believe he has suffered some form of brain damage."

Jennifer let out a sob and grabbed Justin's hand, rubbing her thumb over his palm.

"How bad is it?" I asked quietly and Dr Peters glanced at me before continuing.

"It's difficult to tell at this stage. We will only really know the extent of any damage when he wakes up; which we fully believe he will. Early indication is that he hasn't suffered any paralysis or massive head trauma but like I said we can't be sure, until we've conducted more tests when he wakes up."

"So what you're saying is, you don't have a fucking idea what is wrong with him?" I demanded my voice shaking with anger.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. It was difficult for us to look at the extent of the brain damage. There was a lot of excessive bleeding and we made it our main priority to stop that and then close his head back up. He was in no state for us to keep him under anaesthesia for any longer time than that. He could of lost his life if we hadn't closed the wound up when we did. I truly am sorry that we don't know more than that," he replied steadily and I gritted my teeth and focused on breathing normally.

"How long do you think it will be before he wakes up?" Jennifer asked, her voice quiet.

"We don't believe it will be any longer than three weeks," he answered her with a small smile and I spoke up again.

"Why did he move about just then? Was he awake?" I asked curiously.

"Some coma patients get restless. Some doctors believe it's because they are awake but obviously cannot move. It might scare them or it could just be that they are bored of sleeping. We can never really tell. Most patients don't remember much about being unconscious. Justin here however has been moving about a lot. We use a special type of medication to calm him and relieve him of any pain he might be feeling. We've put these bars up so that he can't fall out of the bed and harm himself further. If this continues we may have to put on soft cloth wrist restraints to stop him pulling at the wires." He explained and I smiled softly.

It was nice to know that Sunshine was alive underneath the bruises and bandages.

"He was lying on his side a few hours ago, I went out to stretch my legs. When I came back he was on his back. Why?" Jennifer asked suddenly.

"We try and move coma patients every 2-3 hours, it stops them getting bed sores, and as Justin is especially active we try to move him and much as we can. I am confident that he will improve, and that we won't suffer any permanent damage, for now however, all we can do is wait," he answered before giving us a quick smile and a nod as he left the room.

I walked over to Jennifer and rubbed her shoulder comfortingly as the tears started to roll down her cheeks again.

Her eyes were squeezed together tightly and it was like she was trying to block out the grief that had surrounded her.

"He'll be fine. He's a fighter, you'll see," I murmured and she nodded as another sob escaped her lips.

"Why don't you go home for a few hours? Get some sleep, some good food maybe," I suggested and she shook her head.

"What if he wakes up?" she cried "I won't be here for him,"

"Sweetie you heard the doctor. It's most likely he won't wake up for a while yet, but I promise you if he does I'll phone you right away. Plus I'll be here for him. I promise," I said firmly and she sat silently for a few minutes.

When she stood up, she reached over Justin's bed and placed a kiss on his forehead before turning to me and wrapping her arms around me. I held her tightly and tried to reassure her through the hug.

She left the room quickly and without any fuss and I sat on her now empty chair.

"Well Sunshine looks like it's just you and me now. Though I think Em is coming to have a word with you soon and Lindsay is around somewhere. When you wake up, I'm going to make you the best chicken soup you've ever tasted. Then when you're all better I'm going to fucking scream my head off. You scared us all to death Sunshine, running out into the road like that. Just for Brian. When I said fight for him, I didn't mean die for him Justin," I said softly, running my hand over the horrible yellow bruise that had cascaded down his right cheek.

"Please wake up soon Sunshine, we miss you,"

**Hey Everyone! Merry Christmas! Hope it's great for you all!**

**Thank you InconspicuousBunny for the help, you're honestly amazing and I'm so grateful and thank you also to everyone who reads and reviews you guys are even more awesome and I love you all for it. **

**Have a good one guys!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello everyone,**

**Sorry for the long time between updates, this was a bit of a difficult chapter. Thank you to InconspicuousBunny for the beta, I am as always, ridiculously grateful I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review and tell me what you think! **

My eyes creaked open stiffly, but I immediately closed them again to block out the shining light that had pierced my brain.

"Sorry Justin," a calming male voice said and I frowned, wincing inside at the pain that that slight movement had caused. "I'll turn it down for you. Okay, you can open them now," he gently encouraged and I lifted my right eyelid slightly to the calmer light.

I opened both eyes slowly grimacing at the brightness of what I was sure was a very dim light to others. I blinked a couple of times before my eyes began to search the room. My gaze landed on my mom, whose own eyes were full of tears. I smiled weakly at her.

"Hey mom," I croaked in a voice that sounded so unlike my own, I thought for a moment it was another person speaking.

"You okay honey?" She asked and I nodded gently, only moving my head in the smallest way.

"Dry throat," I gasped out harshly and a nurse next to me lifted a cup of water to my lips. I tried to grab it with my hands but she chuckled softly, and batted my hand gently away.

"Oh no sweetie, uh-uh. You are not allowed to move your arms yet. Not until we've checked you out," she said in a loud and kind voice. She was a big, black lady, with a kind face and nose piercing. Her eyes were sympathetic and I began to like her immediately. But I did scowl at the fact that they didn't think I was strong enough to lift a cup of water to my lips.

"Oh don't you go giving me attitude young man, I got enough of that from you when you was sleeping. Always pulling at the wires, always kicking out. When you were passed over onto my care, the nurse Shanice well she was all 'he's a kicker Marie, he's a kicker,' and I took one look at your angelic little body, and gorgeous blonde hair and laughed. I did, I laughed, but no, every Goddamn night you kept me up. Kept me on my toes, I have to say. But this will all go a lot faster for you if you don't fight me at every step, Sunshine," she scolded lightly, her voice amused and her eyes glinting.

"Sunshine?" I asked, wondering how the hell she had managed to pick up a name that only-

"Sorry honey, I gave her that one." My eyes flickered past Marie and to the beaming face of Debbie.

"Deb!" I cried but immediately winced at the shearing pain in my throat, Marie smiled and sloshed some cooling water down my throat.

"How are you doing Sunshine? Holding up okay?" She asked and I nodded. "Course you are. Oh Sunshine, you had me so worried, I tell you. Fucking scared the life out of me- sorry," she added to the doctor who was stood at the back wall, who raised his eyebrows at Deb's language.

I beamed, well tried to and settled back into the cushions as Mom began to fill me in on everything I'd missed.

The door to my room suddenly flew open, and in burst a young man wearing bright red skin tight pants and a fluffy orange coloured top. He practically danced into the room and my mouth flew open at the sight of him. When his eyes finally landed on me, his mouth made a perfect 'o' and then he beamed at me. I was momentarily stunned by how wide and how bright his smile was.

"Baby!" he squealed and skipped over to me "You're awake! Oh thank God, seriously baby you had everyone in such a panic. Even Brian was shaken up by it," he looked at me knowingly as if that last bit would have been important to me and I frowned.

"I'm sorry but do I know you?" I asked him politely and his jaw dropped before he regained his composure quickly and laughed a little falsely.

"Oh you're such a tease. Anyways, I think-"

"No, seriously. I don't know you," I stated and I watched as Debbie stood up from her chair and my mom looked worriedly behind her at the doctor.

"Justin, honey. This isn't funny anymore. It's me Emmet. We met at the diner, and talked and had fun together. I took you shopping-"

"Okay thank you, Emmet. But I think it would be best if you waited outside now," the doctor spoke professionally and Emmet stuttered for a minute.

"But I, I have to, he knows me, he really does. He has to know..." Emmet trailed off at the look on the doctor's face and I stared between the two of them as he walked slowly out of the door, shooting me one last sad glance.

"Okay Justin, I'm going to need to ask you a few questions," the doctor said to me, holding out a clipboard and pulling out a pen from his pocket.

"Okay," I nodded back and with help from Marie, I sat up straighter.

"What's your name?"

"Justin Taylor?"

"How old are you?"

"17,"

"Why are you here?"

I stared at him blankly for a moment, my eyes glanced to my mom and I shook my head.  
"I don't know," I replied and the doctor nodded quickly before coming over to my bedside and shining a bright light into my eyes.

For the next 15 minutes or so, the doctor, whose name was Dr Peters and Marie, questioned me about a load of different things. They also ran lots of tests on my body and blood.

"Thank you Justin. We'll talk to you later about your test results but there's really no need to worry," he informed me and Marie nodded but I could tell from the way they both shared looks every now and then that something was wrong. And it was something to do why I was in hospital and more to do with the strange man in brightly coloured pants.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Debbie," Jennifer said to me and I blinked at her dumbly.

"Oh yeah, what is it?" I asked her, pushing away from the wall I had been leaning against.

"Dr Peters wants to see me now and I wondered if you would come with me? I don't really want to find out the news on my own, especially after what happened with Emmet," she said a little shakily and I gave her a small smile.

"Of course I'll come. Lead the way," I replied and followed her down a series of long corridors, until we came to a posh looking door with the name Dr Peters stuck on the front.

"Here we go," Jennifer muttered and she knocked politely on the door.

"Come in," Dr Peters muffled voice came and we opened the door and stepped into a very plush looking office.

The walls were plastered with awards and his view from the window was incredible. Behind his desk lay a massive bookshelf and he sat typing away on a very modern computer, which he didn't look up from until we'd sat ourselves down on the chairs opposite his desk.

"So, I bet you're wondering about Justin," he said finally and we both nodded. He tore his hands away from the keyboard and clasped them together in front of him whilst he stared at us gravely.

"We don't believe he has memory loss," he answered us and we both gaped at him, he held up his hand as I opened my mouth to speak and carried on "We do however believe he is suffering from what we call, LHD."

"And what in the name of God, is LHD?" I asked and he smiled.

"It means Locked Heart Disease. And in this case it's Justin's heart which has locked,"

"I'm sorry, what?" Jennifer asked and I nodded, not understanding what the fuck was going on.

"There are certain accidents that are so traumatic they actually affect the heart, not the one in your chest but the one in your box. Now when this happens, the heart believes that either it is going to die, or that it's being tortured or something like that. So what it does, is it takes the most precious and beautiful memories from its owners mind and locks them away. Locked. Very certain, and very important people have trained their heart to recognise what is considered 'important' so that if they were captured and tortured they wouldn't be able to give the information up. Because the heart has locked it away. That is why Justin couldn't remember certain childhood and adult memories and why he couldn't remember Emmet. I take it that Emmet is an important friend?" He asked us and Jennifer shook her head sadly.

She didn't know.

She and Justin had drifted apart when his sexuality became clear. It wasn't that she thought being gay was wrong, because nobody did really. But that didn't mean that she was completely fine with it and so she had no idea if Justin was close to Emmet or not.

"Well sort of," I answered. A thought drifted into my mind, if Justin wasn't able to remember Emmet, then why was he able to remember me? And would he be able to remember Brian?

"Excuse me a minute," I said and pretty much jogged out of the room and back to Justin's, which thankfully Marie wasn't occupying.

"Deb," he smiled when he saw me and I grinned back.

"How're you doing honey?" I asked hurriedly and he nodded. I took that to mean he was ok.

"I'm just going to ask you one more question okay sweetie?" I asked him, and he winced but nodded.

"Do you know a man named Brian Kinney? Think about it Justin, really think?" I begged him and he screwed his face up in concentration before looking up at me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry Deb, I don't know who he is," he whispered and I sighed heavily.

"That's okay sweetie, it's okay," I replied, patting his cheek gently. He gave me a small smile before letting his eyes droop. Once I was sure he was fast asleep I walked quietly out of the room and bumped into Jennifer who was looking at me with worried eyes.

"Jen? What's wrong?"

"Dr Peters, he's sent us to see someone else. About Justin," she nearly sobbed and I felt cold all over.

"Why? What's happened?" I asked, my eyes searching her face and she shook slightly.

"No, nothing, nothing. He said it's nothing new but we really need to go see someone called Dr Thomas," she replied and I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Okay, so Sunshine's fine? Nothing new has happened?"

"No everything's fine. It's just me, being silly," she coughed and I rubbed her arm soothingly.

"No, you're not. That's your kid in there. You're allowed to be as fucking emotional as you want," I said firmly, and she gave me a weak smile. We walked down to the other side of the hospital and entered an area of the building called, The Heart Unit. The first door on the right was Dr Thomas's, according to the receptionist, we knocked and then entered the room.

It looked a lot more like a doctors room, with a long bed on the far side of the wall, and pictures of the heart posted all over the wall. A woman with long ginger hair was sat on a large wooden chair, smiling at us.

"Please take a seat," she directed, pointing to the two smaller chairs that were seated diagonally opposite her. Jennifer and I sat down gingerly, waiting to hear news on Justin.

"My name is Dr Thomas, and I'm here to talk to you about Justin's heart problem," she paused and flicked through a couple of sheets of paper, her face thoughtful as she read the information. "It says here that Justin is suffering from LHD, is that correct?" We both nodded in confirmation and she continued.

"Now, this is a very rare type of heart problem, and it normally only happens in very severe circumstances. I'm not saying that what happened to Justin wasn't traumatic, but it couldn't be compared to say, a plane crash. Now what this does show us is Justin's feelings at the time . It suggests that he believed he had very little to hold onto, and that is why his heart reacted in such a way. His memories were and are precious to him and above everything else, he wanted them safe," she explained gently, speaking slowly to make sure we understood.

"There are certain exercises you can do to help unlock the memories and I have them here for you," she said as she leaned back to her desk and pulled a small booklet out of the drawer. "Someone, either yourselves or Dr Peters will need to explain to Justin what's happened, so that he can start to do these exercises immediately. However what you must not do is tell Justin downright who or what the object or person is who he has forgotten. If you reintroduce him to someone he has forgotten, his brain and heart will get confused and it could just wipe out his memory . We're not completely sure why this is, but we think it's because the heart will recognise the person in front of Justin as someone who was either killed or lost, because they have been locked away. This will then scare the heart and so it will shut down to protect Justin from pain.  
It's a difficult concept I know, but if Justin does stick to this he will remember those who he has lost. I do have one more thing to say but if you have questions?" she finished raising her eyebrows at us.

"Yeah actually, I do. Sunshine, I mean Justin, he can't remember a man named Brian. Now Brian and he were kind of, well they weren't together, though they should have been with all the eye fucking they were doing," I muttered to Jennifer who shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Anyway they were on the verge of being in a relationship and he can't remember this man, but he can remember me? What the hell is that about?" I asked and Dr Thomas smiled softly.

"What is your relationship like with Justin?" she asked me.

"Well, I treated him like one of my sons, like I do with all my boys," I replied and her smile got even broader.

"But he's not actually related to you?" she confirmed and I nodded.

"I'm his mother," Jennifer added.

"And he remembered you fine?"

"Yes," she answered.

"Well there you go then," Dr Thomas said simply and I stared at her.

"What?" I frowned.

"If you treated him like a son, and he thought of you in the same way as he thinks of his own mother then he would remember you. His brain overrode his heart and said that the two of you were too important to be locked away," she smiled and I felt as the tears started to well up in my own eyes.

"Well okay then," I choked out and she beamed at me.

"But there is that one more thing I have to warn you about," she said quickly, her smile dropping to a more serious face.

"At this moment in time Justin's heart is weak. It's using up his energy to protect the information that he locked away. This means that he is more sustainable to problems."

"What kind of problems?" Jennifer asked frowning. She was leaning forward on her chair and clutching Justin's exercise sheet booklet tightly.

"Well, there is only really one main one. A Heart Snatcher, or a Heart Breaker, it depends on which you would like to call it really," she answered. Dr Thomas had started to sit more rigidly in her chair, and it was obvious that she did not enjoy this topic of conversation.

"And what exactly is that?" Jennifer questioned, wanting more information.

"It's a person," I replied and the doctor snapped her gaze to me. "Oh sorry,"

"No, no it's fine. Continue, if you want," she smiled sadly at me.

"Well, it's a person whose own heart is weak. Very weak, it doesn't have enough energy to survive on its own, so it uses other peoples. Other peoples pain more like. Basically, I'm not quite clear on the technicalities but what they do is they have this device, like a tracking device, except what is does is find weak and unprotected hearts. Like Justin's is right now," I explained to Jennifer whose expression was becoming more and more worried.

"These devices are illegal, and the police do an excellent job of finding Heart Snatcher's so they are very few left," Dr Thomas tried to reassure her.

"Yeah but the ones that are left are as lethal as ever. Once they've found a heart, I don't know how exactly they do it, but they manage to put it into a kinda of trance thing. Once this is done, they have complete control over the heart and its emotions. Because of this they make the owners heart fall in love with them very quickly. That's right isn't it Doc?" I looked over to her and she nodded.

"Yes. But it goes on. Once the person, in this case it would be Justin, is in love the Snatcher would do something so horrible it would break Justin's heart, clean in two. But because his heart is still very much in love with the Snatcher, the Snatcher can use the hurt and pain that Justin is feeling to make his own heart a lot more alive and energetic. The harder the hurt the person is feeling, the more energy is transferred to the Snatcher. It's a very brutal and disgusting situation," Dr Thomas finished off for me and Jennifer looked horrified.

"How exactly do they take control over someone else's heart?" I asked quietly.

"They use a very small microchip which they insert straight into the middle of the heart. Once the chip is in place they can very quickly start to take control over the emotions, hormones and nerves that are inside that heart. Evil though it may be, it's a very ingenious method," she explained and I nodded.

"How do we stop this?" Jennifer whispered, looking at Dr Thomas with an almost frantic expression.

"I'm afraid all you can do is wait. Keep the heart close at hand and never leave it by itself. Wait for Justin to remember whatever it is he has forgotten and once he has remembered the hearts protective walls will close back up and he will be safe again. I'm sorry that I can't offer you more than that, scientists are still working on a method of stopping this completely,"

Jennifer and I mumbled our thanks and quietly left the room.

I explained about the diner and how I had to get back, but I would come back and check in on Sunshine. Jennifer smiled and thanked me, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I turned to leave when I heard her call my name. I spun back around.

"Yeah honey?"

"How did, how did you know about the Heart Breakers?" she asked blushing slightly.

I smiled at her sadly for a moment, as the memories of years gone by flew across my mind.

"It happened to someone I once knew," I said wistfully.

"Someone close to you?"

I nodded, "Extremely close," I murmured, thinking of the deep crack that was still obvious through the centre of my heart.

XXXXXXXXX 

In a small and shabby apartment a while away from Liberty Avenue, the curtains blew out of the window and into the night breeze. The light filtered in onto a makeshift table where a young man was leaning over a beautiful wooden box. The lid was lifted and only a small pink area of the heart that was kept inside, was available. Using nimble fingers a tiny micro chip was inserted into the middle of the heart and buried deep inside, leaving only a tiny scar behind it. The lid was slammed closed and the box was placed back where it had been found, at the back of a series of paint bottles.  
The man fled from the room picking up the two heavy cases he had bought with him. He quietly climbed out of the window and shut them behind him and everything was silent yet again.

A few hours later, a key turned in the lock of the door and a pretty, middle aged blonde woman entered the room. She swept past the once open window and hurried over to the paints. She lifted the box gently, with loving fingers, and placed it inside a bigger cardboard box she was carrying. She stumbled over to the door and shut it behind her with her foot. The apartment was bathed in silence and moonlight once more.

And if the woman had looked carefully, really looked, she would have seen a lone violin string lying underneath the window.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello everybody! **

**Now I understand that some people are slightly annoyed at Ethan being in my story, and I can understand that, buuut he is quite a big part of the storyline, and so I'm keeping him. I am sorry if that has really irritated anyone but I promise that nothing horrifically awful will happen. Thanks to those who are reading or reviewing, you guys are amazing!**

The loft was deathly silent. It probably shouldn't be considering that I'd just had a serious round of fucking with a nameless trick. But as I watched the blonde slowly start to put his clothes back on, I could find nothing to say. I was already dressed, had been from the moment my orgasm had died down.

The after effects of a serious amount of alcohol starting to seep in, and the banging in my head began. I kept the curtains shut, not wanting any fresh light to filter through the loft. As the trick made his way to the door, I ran my hands through my hair and made my way towards the shower, kicking aside the empty beer bottles.

"Uhh Brian?" He asked and I turned towards him, my scowl already in place.

"What?" I frowned at him and he pointed towards the door, where Mikey was stood sullenly.

"Oh fucking hell," I muttered as the trick left and Mikey stormed into the room. He walked straight over to the window and threw the curtains open, I shielded my face from the glare of the sun.

"Four fucking weeks," he said coldly and I raised my eyebrows at him. I sauntered over to the couch and after pushing the bottles and rubbish out of way, I sat down wincing slightly at the movement of my head.

"Mikey, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"He's been at the hospital for four weeks and you haven't visited him once," he said to me almost desperately, I rolled my eyes and stood up again, swaying a little as my vision blurred.

"He's not my responsibility," I murmured as I walked away.

"Oh that is bullshit," Mikey replied and I turned around.

"I'm not his fucking carer Mikey or his mommy or his daddy, I am nothing," I sneered at him and he scowled right back. He truly was a child sometimes.

"You're his everything," Mikey retorted, grabbing my arm and glaring up at me "That kid worships you already, so for once Brian, don't be a heartless arsehole and go and see him."

I said nothing but turned and walked back to the shower, seeing out of the corner of my eye as Mikey shook his head and placed the bags of food on the kitchen counter. Once my shirt had slipped to the floor, I took the blood stained dish cloth from around my shoulders, and touched the marks, wincing at the memories.

I remembered taking the cloth from Justin's hands as he lay there, my hands had been shaky so the cloth had fell to the floor and Justin's blood had been soaked up. I had no idea why, but from that moment on I needed to wear it. It was Justin, his very essence was on the cloth, it was stained with him.

I reluctantly placed it on the floor and continued to undress. I stepped into the shower and felt as the burning water scolded my skin, it felt nice and refreshing. I tilted my head up to the water and let it wash over my face, for one moment forgetting who I was and all the ridiculous shit that came with me.

Once I was finished, I wrapped a towel around myself, and let the water drip down my body. I sauntered slowly back into the loft, cautious in case Mikey was still there waiting for me. Instead I found the loft to have been tidied up. The bottles were gone, and the condom wrappers and left over takeaways had been shoved into the overflowing bin, the window was thrown open and the place already looked a little better.

I breathed out a laugh and ran my fingers through my hair, moving over to the kitchen counter where Mikey had left three bags of fresh food and a little slip of paper. I unfolded it and shut my eyes after reading the address of the hospital, and the ward where Justin was currently staying.

"Fuck," I whispered and walked up to the stairs to the bedroom, already knowing what I was about to do.

XXXXXXXXX

The hospital was over crowed with people. Nurses running up and down the halls, doctors walking around arrogantly with clipboards, mothers nursing their crying babies, or people just sat weeping in the halls.

I hated it.

I wanted to turn around and run, get away from here as fast as I could, but when did I ever back away from anything? I glanced around for the reception, sighing as I saw how many people were already waiting in line. I looked down at the crumpled piece of paper in my hand, before shoving back into my pocket and marching straight past the reception.

I stormed through the hallways, not letting my pace slow for a second, knowing that if I even so much as hesitated I'd be running from the hospital as though it were a bathhouse full of trolls, I finally found the right corridor and I did slow down to a more steady pace, my heart thudding in my chest. I saw the door with his number on it and I slowly walked up to the window which was beside it, on the right. I stood in front of the window but kept my gaze fixed on the floor, I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders.

I lifted my head slowly and almost passed out at the sight in front of me.

The room was empty, but the bedcovers had been thrown off and tissues and bandages were strewn across the floor; bandages that were covered in blood. I fell forward slightly and let my head fall against the glass, my breath misting up the window. He's hurt. That was all that I could think. Something's happened and he's hurt. Everything swirled and misted together and all I could focus on was one of the bandages covered in, what looked to be, Justin's blood, and it reminded me too much of the cloth that was currently hanging against my own chest.

I felt as though I was in a dream, a surreal dream, where I was floating in pain. Lost in the current heartache that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. All because of the boy. The cocky little kid that seemed to be the most important thing to me at the moment. I felt my hand reach into my pocket and I lit a cigarette without really noticing my own movements. The nicotine seemed to calm me, but the ache, that horrible drowning ache right in the pit of my stomach remained. I wasn't sure how long I stood there, not moving an inch as memories of Justin flooded my mind. I was vaguely aware of an angry looking woman stood next to me. Her mouth was moving but it seemed as though her protests were silent. I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and threw it on the ground, stepping purposely on it as I walked slowly away.

It was as if everything slowed down around me as I walked out of the hospital. The nurses rushing past me seemed to be in slow motion and the people's faces seemed to be blurred. I could only hear the frantic beating of both my hearts.

I pushed the door of the hospital open and the cool breeze met with my face. I stood there for a moment, the wind biting my cheeks and laughing as it swirled around me, reminding me of the loss I was suffering. I stood there for a moment, reminding myself of how to breathe.

XXXXXXXXX

"Well don't you just look like shit," Debbie said cheerfully to me as I slid into the booth next to Lindsay, who cast a worried glance over my rugged appearance.

"Gee Deb, thanks," I muttered sarcastically back and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Anytime," she replied to me, her face suddenly worried as she glanced at the clock. "Brian you can't stay here," she said quietly and I glanced back at Lindsay who looked just as confused as I felt.

"Wow Deb, do you treat all your customers this way or am I just that special?" I drawled at her and she glared at me.

"I'm being serious Brian, you have to go," she replied and I stared at her in disbelief. After a moment I let out a heavy sigh and inclined my head slightly.

"Yeah okay, I get it," I murmured, raising my hands in defeat. "Can I at least heave a coffee to go, or is that outstaying my welcome?" I asked and she nodded slightly, her eyes back on the watch.

"How long does it take to get some fucking service over here?" A jackass from another table yelled and Debbie marched off, grumbling to herself as she went. I frowned slightly as I heard the words "His shift doesn't start for another half hour, it's fine,"

"I heard Mikey had to come clear your loft for you," Lindsay murmured to me after a few seconds silence. I said nothing.

"Brian, don't shut us out like this," she persisted, her tone sad and comforting. I shut my eyes tightly, glad for the sunglasses I was wearing.

"Deb? I know I'm not meant to be here for ages, but I was bored as shit. Is that the new menu outside?"

My world froze. I froze. And then it was light. The greyness that had been surrounding me since the accident, the weight that had been on my shoulders was lifted. I tore my sunglasses and turned to look for the face behind the voice. The face that had just made my whole life better.

His arm was in a sling, and I watched as he walked further into the diner. A sigh of complete relief passed through my lips in a short exhale of air and I shook my head again as the image of the hospital rushed through my mind, the colours and objects blurred.

His eyes searched for Deb, his face in a beautiful frown. His gaze shifted around the room but found me first. Our eyes locked and it took every single bit of will power and discipline that I owned to not through myself at him first. His mouth formed an O and his eyes widened in shock. I smirked at him and a delicious red colour crept over his face. I found my way out of the booth and moved towards him, pure elation coursing through my body.

I had almost reached him when Debbie stood in front of me, blocking my way, her face full of worry and desperation.

"Go outside," she said quietly for no one else to hear.

I turned back around to Lindsay, and her face was like Deb's full of sadness and pleading.

"What?" I started to say before Debbie pushed me towards the door and out into the cold.

"Deb, what the fuck?" I asked confused, my eyes fixed on her head. "I thought you were joking when you said I couldn't stay," she moved about from one foot to the other and ignored my question, looking across the street, seemingly absorbed in the shops over there.

"It's fucking freezing out here," she murmured and I looked back into the diner where Justin was still looking over at the menus in confusion.

"Debbie. What's going on?" I asked and she turned to me, her eyes sad.

"I can't let you see him Brian, you have to turn around and go back to your loft or some place else," she replied and I stared at her in shock and anger.

It was hard but I knew why. I was responsible for the accident. I wasn't good for him and so he should stay away. I kept my face neutral as Debbie's stare bore into my face, I looked out across the street and clenched my jaw. I turned back to her and nodded.

"Yeah you're right," I agreed.

"Brian," she said quietly "It's not like that,"

"Deb I get it okay, I agree with you," I replied.

"No Brian," she said firmly. "It's just that if you, if you see him. Christ, look if you see him, it could kill him,"


	9. Chapter 9

I watched as Debbie talked animatedly with the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. His stance seemed sad and his face was tired. I knew him from somewhere, I was sure of it, and from the way he had looked at me, it seemed as if he knew me too.

A small twang of pain in my head made me wince, it was a pain I recognised and for once, welcomed. The pain meant that I was remembering something I had forgotten, something that had been locked away for me to find a way to access again. Normally I hated the pain, it was sharp and quick and could go on for hours, but to find out anything about this man, anything, I let the pain be.

His eyes seemed to light up when he saw me, as if I was the saviour he needed. His eyes bore into mine and I felt shocked at the intensity and purity of his gaze. Deb had stopped him from reaching me and as he had been shoved out of the diner, his eyes found their way back to mine with one last look of hunger. It was like he was scared that I wasn't real, that I would just disappear.  
I vaguely wondered why Debbie had kept him from talking to me and I frowned at the memory of his face. It was like a dream, the harder you try to remember the more it slips away.

I gave up trying and turned my attention back to the diner, which was bursting with life, as usual. My eyes found Lindsay, who was discreetly trying not to look at me and I smiled. Though I had remembered Lindsay pretty easily, she still thought that my mind would blow up if I talked to her. I smiled and made my way over to the seat opposite her; she instantly stuck her nose into the menu, as though it was a book which held the secrets to the world.

"Hey Lindsay," I said loudly, trying to suppress a huge grin as she looked up at me in mock shock.

"Oh. Hi Justin, I didn't see you there," she said, her voice bright and very fake. I giggled quietly and she smiled hesitantly at me, placing the menu back on the table.

I caught a flash of metal and looked down to her left hand, where a ring glinted happily on her wedding finger.

A scorching pain seared through my entire existence and I clutched at my head, where the pain seemed to be the worst. I could hear Lindsay calling my name, her voice caked with worry but I found it was hard to reply, my mouth didn't seem to want to move.

I remembered Lindsay, looking beautiful in a white dress, the smiles and laughter, a small and very cute little boy who was running around people's legs. The pain became more vicious and a desperate whimper escaped from my lips.

A glass of orange juice flew across my mind, and so did the face of the man who had been in the diner before. I opened my eyes to see Lindsay watching me worriedly, her face anxious.

"Justin, are you okay?"

"You're married," I stated breathlessly and she relaxed slightly, looking down at the ring on her finger.

"Yes to Mel. You remember her?" She asked and I nodded, she beamed at me. "Yeah, it was a great day. You were there you know," she replied and I smiled, as this time when I remembered it didn't hurt.

"Yeah I can remember bits of it. You have a child as well?"

"Yeah, Gus. He loves you a lot, you're his papa…." She trailed off slightly and I stared at her in horror.

"What?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"No, nothing like that, it's just what he calls you," she explained hastily and I breathed a sigh of relief and stretched my hand across the table to tug the menu out of her hand, desperate for a change of subject, for the awkward atmosphere to evaporate. As I grabbed for the menu I managed to knock her glass of sparkling water over in the process.

I watched as the water ran over the table, but before I had time to apologize and grab something to clean it up, the pain returned in my head.

I remembered a glass being knocked over, I remembered the beautiful man walking through the door then back out again, I remembered running out after him, I remembered the traffic and the noise. I remembered the pain.

My eyes flew open and using my one, undamaged, arm I pushed away from the table to look out of the window anxiously, desperate to see the man who seemed constantly to be in my mind.

All I saw, however, was Deb walking back into the diner, her face emotionally drained and I frowned at her. I had never seen her so … low.

"Deb?" I asked curiously as she smiled gently at me, her hand patting my cheek softly.

"It's okay Sunshine," she replied, walking past me and back behind the counter.

"Who was that? That man who was in here just now?" I asked, my words tripping over each other as I tried to say it in a casual way.

"No one Sunshine," she answered immediately, keeping her eyes locked on the till. I turned back to Lindsay, who instantly diverted her gaze.

I frowned and sat down on one of the stools, shutting my eyes tight, as images of the man slowly drifted away.

XXXXXXXXX

"Justin?" Debbie's voice called softly and I jerked my eyes open to see her worried face, watching me. "I've called your mother, she's going to come pick you up,"

"What? Why?" I asked stubbornly and Debbie chuckled, leaning on the counter.

"You can barely keep your eyes open sweetie, you need to rest," she pressed and I nodded, too tired to try and fight.

I turned around in the stool I had fallen asleep on and looked out across the diner. I smiled at the whole atmosphere of the place. It had been where I had remembered most of my forgotten memories since I'd been discharged from the hospital a week ago.

Like when I remembered who Emmet was, his face when I finally gasped his name out after a searing headache was so funny, I chuckled at the memory. It was also where I had remembered Ted, Lindsay and Mel. Mikey had taken a bit more time, but eventually he had come back to me too.

Mom taking me back to my old house, dad was out of course, had bought back so many childhood memories and I found that I could paint and draw. It had taken a while, but eventually I had started again. It was a bit rubbish, because I could only use my left hand, when I'm right handed, but everything else had seemed to just flood back to my mind. It was painful when it did happen, but I found I couldn't regret it. It was painful for a while, like someone was trying to cram years worth of stuff into my head all at once but I could stand the pain, knowing that it meant I didn't have these massive blanks where my life should be.

I could tell there was still something missing though, if mom and Debbie's behaviour was anything to go by. But it was more than just those two acting weird around me, I felt like a part of me was missing, a huge part that was lost somewhere deep inside my mind. I hated it and wished for it to end so that I could remember whatever it was that I had locked away, because it was obviously important to me.

"Sweetie," I heard Debbie's voice, kind but stern, "you better not be pushing yourself to remember. You know what the doctor said … the memories will come back when you're ready."

"Mmm, but I keep thinking that if I…." I trailed off suddenly, whatever I was saying didn't seem important anymore. I listened hard. There it was, the most beautiful piece of music I had ever heard. Violin music, it sounded like. It was soothing and so well played.

"What is that?" I whispered and Debbie stared at me, chewing her gum anxiously.

"What is what?"

"That music," I whispered, feeling my body move towards the door but Deb blocked my way, I scowled at her.

"Sunshine, you feeling okay?" She asked me, reaching a hand up to my forehead.

"I'm fine Deb," I replied, looking past her and out of the door, feeling the need to just walk out of the door and go wherever my feet would take me.

"Okay, well just come sit back down again," she said worriedly, leading me back to the stools and just like that the spell was broken. The music disappeared and I felt as though I had just come out of a trance. I blinked a few times, before looking up at Debbie and smiling hesitantly.

I heard a car horn beep and looked out of the diner window to see my mom waving at me, as she leant back against the car door.

"I'll see you later Debbie," I said and kissed her on the cheek. I walked towards the door, feeling Debbie's gaze on my back.

"Hey mom," I said and she smiled back, I got in the passenger side and as we took off I rolled my eyes as I spotted my heart box at my feet.

"Mom, do we really need to cart this around everywhere with us?" I asked and she glowered at me.

"Yes, Justin we do. Did you not hear me explain to you about Heart Snatchers?" she replied and I nodded absently.

"Yeah, yeah. I did,"

I leant my head against the window and watched the scenery pass me by. I felt as a familiar pang of pain starting in my head as I looked out the window at a park.

"Pull over mom," I said urgently. "Pull over."

She did as I asked looking bewildered and I opened the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"Justin? Justin get back in the car," she shouted and I smiled at her reassuringly.

"I'm just going into the park mom, I'll be fine, you can come join me in a minute," I suggested and she sighed in resignation and nodded her head slightly. I shut the car door and looked at the gate to the park, taking a deep breath, I swung it open and slowly walked inside.

The playground was full of kids chattering to each other, whilst parents gossiped, their eyes drifting back to their children every once in a while.

I let the breeze rush past my face and I smiled softly at the young kids running around. I glanced up to see another path curving off to the left. There seemed to be a slight clearing ahead and so I walked towards it, veering off to the left, watching the trees getting taller as they loomed over me.

I stopped when I saw a bench occupied by someone, I frowned and continued walking but the slight intake of breath made me glance back.

It was him, the man who had haunted my mind. He slowly stood up and looked around as if he was about to run, he kept his eyes lowered and tried to sink into himself slightly. I watched him curiously until the pangs of the pain kicked in my head. I tried not to fight it this time and images of the very park I was stood in flooded back.

Images of the man, stood in front of me as I drew the scenery, how close he was to me, how much I wanted to touch him at that moment, my heart beating inside its box.

_Brian._

__The name flooded through me and I felt as the all too familiar blackness started to creep inside my mind, blocking my rational thought and vision. I was aware of my knees buckling beneath me but before I fell, strong arms had wrapped themselves around my chest, and it felt so right, so natural and perfect. As I drifted off into the darkness, I felt the arms holding me tightly and the soothing sounds of a distant violin.

__


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone!**

**Now first off I need to apologize for the ridiculously long wait for this update. All I can say is that it was like Brian and Justin just walked out of my head and it took me ages to coax them back in and help me update. And to top it all off this chapter isn't that long either, so again for anyone still reading I am really sorry. Thanks to InconspicuousBunny for not giving up on me and helping still. Enjoy!**

I watched his body jerk violently in my arms, his face screwed up in what could only be described as pure and terrifying pain. The sounds of children playing could still be heard and it seemed so wrong to hear their laughter whilst he was lying, for all I knew dying, in my arms. His shudders and cries fell silent after a while and he lay limply, his eyelashes fluttering violently against his pale cheeks.

My heart was thudding loudly, I shouldn't be here. It could kill him, seeing me here, but I just couldn't leave him, not lying on the ground. I watched his chest rise and fall, comforted by the fact that he was still alive. I was sat on the ground with Justin lying across my lap, I used my right arm to support his body whilst my left hand searched through my pockets to find my cell. I quickly dialled Debbie number, begging her to pick up the phone. It went to voicemail after a while and I swore loudly, as the panic started to seep in. I thought about calling the hospital when Justin groaned loudly and his eyelids started to peel back.

I froze, staring straight ahead and he shifted in my arms, his eyes adjusting to the light. I felt his gaze land on me and he winced in pain again. I kept staring ahead, letting my arms go lax, so that, against everything I felt, he could stand up and walk away if he wanted.

"You're Brian," he murmured and I frowned gently still looking ahead. I pressed my lips together lightly, not knowing what to say, or even if I should speak.

"It's okay, I remember you, or at least a memory of you," he said softly, trying to sit up in my arms. I supported his back as he struggled, and caught him when he almost collapsed again.

"Alright?" I asked him as he winced slightly.

"No, my head hurts like hell. Can you help me up?" He asked and I nodded, still wondering how I should respond to this. I supported him as he got unsteadily to his feet and I held onto his arm as he swayed lightly.

"Justin!"

I turned around and saw Jennifer running towards us, her blonde hair flying around in the breeze.

Shit.

She flew towards Justin and spun him around so that he was shielded from me, I rolled my eyes and watched as Justin tried to bat his mom's hand away.

"Mom, mom. Mom. Cut it out, I remember him," he said firmly, twisting around and wincing at the movement of his head.

"Oh," Jennifer sighed in relief, looking between the two of us. "You didn't force memories on him, did you?" She asked me and I groaned and turned to walk away.

"Hey, wait up!" Justin caught my arm and pulled me back. His blue stared deep into my brown. "Can we talk, please?"

"About what?" I asked, more sharply than I intended to. I watched his face as it crumpled slightly for a minute, before a flash of determination took across his features and he straightened his shoulders, lifting his gaze back up to mine.

"About me. About what's happened. From what I've just remembered you were a pretty significant part so I think I have the right to know what my relationship is to you," he said firmly, his gaze never wavering. I smirked down at him and he scowled a little.

"Alright," I nodded.

"Alright?" he repeated and I nodded again.

"Yeah, alright."

I turned and walked away, glancing back to see him still rooted to the spot. "Well are you fucking coming with me or not?"

He nodded eagerly and followed after a second, swishing the blonde hair out of his eyes.

"Justin!" His mom cried and he turned back to look at her. Her face was twisted with desperation and for a moment I felt sorry for her… only for a moment.

"Wait here," he murmured and ran back to her, constantly glancing back as though expecting me to disappear.

"Justin, please, don't go with him," I heard his mom almost whimper and I glanced down at the floor, pulling out a cigarette and turning it around in my fingers.

"Mom, I know what I'm doing," I heard him reply, his voice low and soothing.

"No Justin, you don't. You're seventeen years old for Christ's sake. Look you need to get checked out, please just come back with me-"

"No. Look mom, I feel fine, seriously. I'll get checked out later but I am going with Brian. I've made up my mind."

I looked up at the two of them and watched as Justin quickly kissed his mother's cheek, his hand rubbing her arm soothingly.

He turned and walked back to me, his eyes flickering from the floor in front of him to my eyes and back down to the floor again.

"You sure?" I asked him as he reached me and he nodded.

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

I nodded and glanced back at Jennifer, who had wrapped her arms around her torso. I tried to tell her with my eyes that I would protect and look after him like I do my own life but she didn't seem convinced and I couldn't blame her. I wouldn't trust a silent promise from me either.

The ride back to the loft was silent and I watched in amusement as his eyes took in the surroundings. I tried to ignore the thudding of my heart at the thought of him in my loft, in my home, as he wandered aimlessly around, his eyes widened and his mouth curved into a huge grin.

I grabbed a bottle of water and chucked one to him, frowning slightly as he let it fall to the floor before picking it up. I took a long drink, trying desperately to bring moisture back into my mouth.

"So," I said loudly, my arms outstretched, feigning arrogance I didn't believe in. "What do you want to know?"


	11. Chapter 11

I lifted my eyes to his hazel and felt my stomach tighten. There was so much more to them than other people's eyes, they were bottomless and I smiled softly at how emotional this was. I was here, in his home, free to ask him whatever I wanted and yet I could think of nothing to say. I nibbled at my thumb, my eyes dancing around his loft, still a little bit in awe at how elegant it all is. I mean, I knew he was rich but this was like a whole new level to the meaning luxurious.

"So me and you," I began, frowning a little as I struggled to find the words to say "Me and you are… I mean you and me…" I trailed off and felt foolish as he smirked at me. I felt a heat rises to my cheeks and resisted the urge to turn my face away from him in embarrassment. He's grinning now, not even bothering to hide his amusement. A little bit of anger bubbled up inside me and I stood up straight and met his eyes. I am not a little kid.

"We're together," I stated bluntly and watched as his eyes widened and his body tensed.

"No. No we're not in any way together," he replied quickly, the words spilling out of his mouth as if he couldn't get them out fast enough.

"But, we…. I saw the memories. The looks between us, the words," I stammered out, confused about our connection to each other.

"That's all they ever were Justin, words," I glanced up at him, to see his back turned to me. I frowned and found that I had no words to say.

I walked towards him slowly, my steps hesitant. I placed my hand on his shoulder and almost gasped at how tense he was. I almost didn't notice my hands begin to rub away the tension, my thumbs stroking along the side of his shoulders, tingling as they do so.

He still didn't turn around and the silence stretched out between us. My hands trailed down his arms and I felt my stomach flip as I reached his hands, my fingers drawing patterns on his wrist. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak, when he suddenly turned around and pressed his lips against mine.

I stumbled backwards in shock and felt as his arms grabbed my hips and pulled me back to him. I gasped from the feeling in my stomach, I had kissed before but it had never felt like this. I had never felt fireworks before. I felt my legs tremble and my arms clutched at his shoulders to stop me from crumbling to the floor. I felt as he smirked against my lips and I frowned. There was no way he was going to win that easily.

I wound my arms around his neck and pressed my body further into his, my tongue trailing along his bottom lip. I tugged gently at the hair at the nape of his neck and grinned as his mouth fell open in surprise. I plunged my tongue into his mouth and moaned slightly at the taste of just Brian. Our tongues danced furiously together and I bit gently on his lower lip.

"Little fucker," he murmured and I grinned, feeling complete happiness as he directed me up the stairs and pushed me down onto the bed. His right hand tangled in my hair, twisting strands around his fingers. His left hand cupped my cheek but slowly moved lower, trailing down my neck and I felt as his middle and forefinger stroked gently around the bottom of my jaw, stopping at a certain point. He was feeling for my pulse, I pulled away and stared up into his face. He looked straight ahead and refused to meet my eyes. I pulled his chin down and stubbornly kept watching him until with a sigh he finally glanced down, pushing the hair out of my face.

"Fuck me," I whispered and he watched me silently, his fingers still on my pulse. He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me gently, more tenderly than before. I bought my fingers down his chest, and was about to start undoing the buttons when I heard the loft door open.

"Brian, get the fuck off him now!"

I glanced past Brian to see Debbie stood angrily in the middle of the loft floor, her cheeks red and a dish tucked in her arm. Brian groaned and pushed himself off the bed, walking past Debbie and into the kitchen.

"How could you be such an asshole? Jumping him when he's just been through an ordeal like that?" She asked angrily, slamming the dish down onto the counter.

"Deb, seriously, I'm fine. My head doesn't even hurt anymore," I said, wincing a little as I sat up on the bed.

"Well that's bullshit," she replied, breathing heavily. "Get up Sunshine, we need to get you checked out."

"How do you even know about that?" I asked her, walking stiffly down the stairs, thinking desperately of images of my grandmother, I didn't want my desire for Brian to be _too_ obvious to Debbie. I mean, more obvious that it already was.

"Your mom called me straight after you ran away with Mr Careless here," she explained, gesturing angrily to Brian, who was leant back against the fridge, a bored look on his face. How could he look at me with such disinterest, as if I was nothing to him?

"I'm not fucking around Sunshine, you need to get checked out. Remembering something, or someone, as big as Brian ain't good for you honey. It could have caused some damage."

"What kind of damage?" Brian asked, his mask dropping slightly, before he realised and turned away, rubbing the back of his head.

"I don't know Brian, brain damage?" Debbie replied, grabbing hold of my arm and practically frog marching me over to the door.

"So, I'll see you later?" I called back over my shoulder.

Brian shrugged "Don't know. Maybe,"

"We'll see Sunshine," Debbie cut in as she pushed me out of the door and down the stairs. I ran ahead of her, not wanting a lecture right now. I had been so close to finally being with Brian. When the memories had returned so had the feelings, the desires, I had just needed to be with him and I had been so close.

"You were really going to do it, weren't you?"

I turned around and squinted against the sun as Debbie walked quickly to catch up with me. We strode away from the building and I briefly considered lying to her, before realising that it would probably be very pointless.

"Yeah, I was," I replied, trying not to jump as the cars speeded past me, they felt so close to my body and the memory of being hit kept swarming back.

"That's the most stupid fucking idea I've ever heard," Debbie said, pulling me across in front of her, so that she was between me and the cars.

"Look Sunshine, I know that you want Brian. Hell, most people do. But honey, he has a 'one fuck only' policy. He fucks tricks and then he leaves them, that's just how he is. I don't want you to get caught up in that,"

"I know I'm different Deb. I know I am. The way he looks at me, it's different," I replied stubbornly, thinking back to the moment that I had woken up in his arms, a look of such fear and concern on his face. Debbie sighed beside me.

"I don't want you hurt Sunshine, that's all. Anyways, I said we'd meet your mother on Liberty Avenue, so we need to keep going,"

Then I heard it. The song, the music that was so familiar yet so distant. I just wanted to keep hearing it, to just keep listening. I didn't care what was happening to me as long as the music kept playing, the violin music.

"Justin!"

I blinked and saw Debbie's concerned face staring at me, her eyes filled with panic. "Where the fuck are you going?"

I looked around and saw that I was facing in exactly the opposite direction to where Debbie had been leading me. I could see Brian's building further up ahead, and my heart pounded at the thought that maybe that was were I had been walking to. Maybe Brian had played the music?

"What the hell?" I muttered.

"You just ran, it was like you were in a trance or something," Debbie said anxiously, feeling my forehead.

"The music," I murmured and Debbie's face paled, as if filled with a memory of something bad, something evil.

"Come on Sunshine, we need to get you checked out."


	12. Chapter 12

The beat of the music pounded around the room and I walked across the floor, young tricks moving out of my way as I made my way over to the bar, where Mikey was scowling into his drink. The drugs had loosened up my shoulders and I let my head sway in time with the music, closing my eyes against the lights.

"Aren't you a little old to be taking E?" Mikey asked childishly, leaning back against the bar. I smiled and slung my arm around his shoulder, smirking a little inside as he made no motion to move it away. 

"Where's Theodore?" I asked, looking around Babylon, trying to find the awkward, slightly balding man. 

"He's picking Emmett up, though they should be here by now." Mikey replied, turning back to the bar and ordering another drink, as he shrugged off my arm. My eyes scanned the room looking for any potential fucks and landing on a slim-looking blond, who kept glancing over. I made to move away from the table, when I saw Ted walking towards us, his head down as he tried to dodge the dancing couples. 

"Speak of the devil," I muttered and Mikey twisted around. 

"Ted!" He yelled above the noise, waving his hand in the air. "Ted!" 

"Hi guys," Ted said loudly, smiling a little. 

"Why good evening Theodore," I drawled in reply. 

"Where's Emmett?" Mikey asked, handing his drink over to Ted. 

"Oh, he's with Justin somewhere. I tell you, it took us quite a while to get the bouncer to let Justin in, but the kid can be very persuasive when he wants to be," Ted chuckled, looking back out across the dance floor. I remained still. My eyes still looking across the dance floor. My heart fluttering at the mere mention of the kid's name, and it was pissing me off. 

"Why the fuck is that twink here?" Mikey asked maliciously, his annoyance displayed all across his face. "I thought he was still in hospital after his little … episode." I only just resisted the urge to smack him round the head. 

"No, he got discharged almost a week ago. There wasn't really anything wrong with him, right Brian?" Ted asked and I shrugged, sighing loudly, my face a perfect mask of boredom. 

"Anyway his mom's been pretty much keeping him under house arrest. The only reason he was allowed out was 'cos his mom thinks that Emmett took him shopping and then to the movies; which Emmett would have been fine doing but the kid wanted to come here. And Em wasn't exactly difficult to persuade, I swear if Em hasn't proposed to Justin by the end of the night I'll be surprised." Ted finished, chuckling a little, while Mikey's face mirrored exactly how I was feeling. Emmett was with Justin? What the fuck?

"Well, where the fuck are they now?" I asked, anger evident in my voice. Ted shrugged and looked back across the dance floor. 

I tried not to growl in annoyance and was just about to make my way over to the blonde boy stood a few metres away when Emmett bounced onto our scene. 

"Hey guys!" he called happily, leaning on the bar and grinning at us all. 

"Where the hell is Justin? Why did you bring him here?" I asked him sharply, stepping into his personal space. 

"Hey, calm down Brian. He's fine. He's just talking to some guy he met, they seemed to be hitting it off and you know me; never one to intrude on young love," 

"Love? What the fuck are you talking about, Honeycutt? Who is this guy anyway?" I demanded, my heart hissing at the thought of Justin with another man. 

"I don't know; he's called Ian or Ethan or something. I didn't catch his name. I wasn't really listening. Oh no wait, his last name was Gold, because he made some sort of joke about it- something about being rare, I don't know, it was really bad," 

I stared. My heart had stopped hissing and was now shaking. Shaking in fear. I didn't even know this Ian person but his name was freaking me out. I needed to get to Justin and I needed to get to him now. 

"Where did you meet him?" I asked urgently. Emmett and the others frowned at me in confusion, but I ignored their shared glances and just glared at Emmett until he squeaked; "Right by the entrance." 

The last word was barely out of his mouth before I had moved away and was practically running towards the entrance of Babylon. I pushed away the hands trying to reach for my cock and ignored the smiles of young tricks as I pushed through the crowds. My eyes searched the crowds desperately and I stopped breathing as I saw them. 

Justin was there, his face a beautiful smile and his eyes locked on the other man. I watched in horror the curly-haired man leaned in slowly, his mouth murmuring words. Justin seemed to be transfixed and I shook my head desperately. This couldn't happen. My heart was beating desperately against the confinements of its box, desperately trying to break free and stop this. I was just about to shut my eyes and walk away, when a rush of pure adrenaline poured through my body. It was better than the greatest fuck or the biggest high, it propelled my feet forward and I outstretched my hand as I finally came in reach of Justin, my hand pushing him away. 

"What the fuck?" he yelled angrily and I frowned as his eyes glowed with such anger and despair that I was taken aback. 

"You. Get the fuck out of here," I demanded fiercely to Ian or Ethan as a bodyguard restrained Justin from trying to hit me, as he was so desperately trying to do. 

"Who the hell are you?" The man with the goatee asked, his face annoyed. 

"I'm Brian fucking Kinney. Now get the hell out of Babylon." 

"Oh, my biggest competition. Well, Brian Kinney," he grinned with a smile so evil that I almost shuddered "Game on." 

And with that, he walked cockily out of the doors of Babylon, without looking back. I turned back to Sunshine, and motioned to the guard to move out of the way. He let go of Justin and I prepared myself as the kid flew at me, before collapsing in my arms. 

"Justin? Justin? Are you okay?" 

He groaned and lifted his head from my shoulder, blinking blindly up at me. "Brian? Where's, where's Ethan?"

My stomach churned and I scowled with jealousy and the mere mention of the man's name.  
"He left," I said bluntly. 

"No, no he wouldn't," Justin replied anxiously "He promised he wouldn't, he wouldn't do that to me," 

"Justin, what the fuck are you talking about?" I asked warily, not understanding his frantic behaviour. 

"You don't understand Brian. I love him. I need him, I feel like I can't breathe, please you have to get him back for me?" 

I watched open mouthed as Justin began to bite his thumb, his eyes searching Babylon. 

"You literally met the kid a minute ago, Justin," I said in disbelief. 

"I know, but it feels like I've known him forever," Justin replied dreamily and I pulled myself together and blinked a few times. 

"Okay Justin, right I'll take you to him, just come with me and I'll take you to Ethan," I told him calmly trying to not grimace as his eyes lit up and he smiled brightly, almost clapping his hands together in excitement. 

"Let's go Brian, come on. Now," he cried, grabbing my hand and obviously not feeling the odd tingling that I felt.

"Wait," Justin said suddenly and stopped still holding onto my hand, his thumb now starting to rub circles on wrists, almost desperately. "I was trying to hit you," he said slowly.

I looked at him and saw confusion and fear written on his face, I nodded but said nothing, unsure of what was happening to him.

"Why… why would I do that? Why would I want to do that to _you_?" he whispered and I pulled his hand towards me, his body following. I held him close in an awkward hug as he grabbed onto the back of my shirt, trying to push himself closer to me.

"It's okay Sunshine, it's okay." I murmured, suddenly feeling the eyes of hundreds of men directed towards us. "Let's get out of here,"

"To Ethan?" he asked his voice sounding so lost and so scared.

I nodded "To Ethan,"

I began to pull away from him when his grip on my hand tightened, and he gave me a brief smile. I shook my head as we walked out of Babylon, Justin never straying away from me. What the fuck was going on? I started to prepare in my head, the witty but serious explanation I would give Debbie.

**Please don't hate me! **

**I promise that this will be resolved in one way or another so please stay with the story! Also a massive thanks to InconspicuousBunny, who is as ever awesome and deserves a lot of cyber hugs, for beta-ing even though she is very busy :) **


	13. Chapter 13

"What exactly did he say?"

I groaned and drew the cigarette back up to my lips, taking a long drag before exhaling out into the cold night air. 

"You know Deb, I told you three fucking minutes ago," I replied shortly, not turning round to face her. I heard her snort and felt as she hit me on the back. 

"No need to behave like an asshole Brian," she said, pulling the cigarette out of my fingers and taking a drag from it herself. I rubbed a hand along my forehead and turned my head to the right, catching Debbie's eye. 

"I know. I'm just…." I trailed off and looked back at the sky. 

"Worried," Deb put finished in and I scowled at her and breathed a laugh. 

"No, not worried. Just slightly concerned," I amended and she laughed at me, offering me the cigarette. She patted my shoulder and turned to walk back into the house. She stopped at the door and turned to look back at me. 

"There's no shame in being worried" I opened my mouth to protest, "concerned," she corrected with a smile and I blinked at her, turning back to look at the sky. I threw the cigarette to the floor and followed her to the house. I closed the door behind me and spun around at Debbie's gasp. Justin was stood in the kitchen a glass of water held up to his lips, he looked frozen and a little scared as Debbie stomped towards him.

"Justin! What are you doing out of bed?" She demanded and he lowered the glass and looked at her, bewilderment written across his face. 

"Getting a drink of water," he replied, gesturing to the glass. 

"Oh, well you should be in bed," she said her voice flustered as she tried to shoo him out of the kitchen. 

"Deb, no I want to talk to Brian," he whined and I smirked, my eyes running over his rumpled appearance. He was dressed in a plain white top and flannel pants, his hair was ruffled and it looked like had been sleeping for a little while. 

"Sunshine, I don't think that's a good idea right now," Debbie replied softly, taking the glass of water and placing it on the counter. Justin started to pout at her, his big eyes widening. 

"Please," he said softly, and you didn't have to be the brightest star in the sky to figure out that he was acting for her. 

"What do you want to know, Sunshine? Why can't it wait until morning?" Debbie asked, desperation seeping into her tone as she tried to calmly usher Justin back to bed. 

"I want to know what's happening to me," he said and it was like the whole room stopped. Because neither of us had expected that question, and neither of us had expected Justin to ask it so calmly. His tone was almost relaxed, but his shoulders were tense and his eyes screamed panic. 

Debbie gently guided him to a seat in the kitchen and placed the glass of water in front of him as she closed her eyes and calmed herself down. I stood silently, watching as Justin ran his finger along the top of the glass, round and round the circle, slowly, as though he wasn't aware he was doing it.  
I walked over to Debbie and took her hands in mine, staring at her until she looked at me. 

"Together," I murmured "We'll tell him together," 

She smiled and patted my cheek, before sitting down next to Justin and clasping her hands together. 

"There are people on this Earth whose hearts don't work the same way as yours and mine. The one in their chest is fine, it's the one in the box that they need to worry about. 'Cause the one in the box is weak, it can't beat on its own. It needs the help of another heart to keep itself alive. Some people are born with naturally weak hearts, or some become so evil, and so twisted that they have to fuck things up for other people in order to live," Deb paused wincing a little at her tale. "And these people are called Heart Snatchers." 

Justin nodded as she spoke, obviously remembering this from when he was warned about them from before. 

"Now, all of this started a long time ago because of a man called Tony. Tony's heart was becoming very weak from the lies and robberies he'd been carrying out. Tony was a little fucker, he was really well known to the police and all of that, but as his heart became weak, he found he was dying. Now Tony had a wife, a woman he loved more than anything in the world," 

I rolled my eyes and looked over my shoulder making a dramatic sighing noise, Justin smirked at me but Debbie looked really pissed. 

"Just hold on to your heterophobia for one second, Brian. Jesus Christ," Debbie groaned and turned her attention back to Sunshine, who was waiting patiently for the story to continue. "Anyway, Tony loved this girl and she loved him back. They were already married so their heart's were already joined. They say love is blind, and her love for him was blind. Blind to the fact that his heart was already dying. She wanted to stay in love and in happiness, but as his heart got weaker so did hers, but of course she ignored this. 

So when Tony told this girl he was dying, her heart basically broke. And all of the pain and anger and sadness this poor kid was feeling got soaked up by Tony, and his heart began to glow and shine and heal. Now every time the girl forgot about Tony or felt any other emotion, her heart would stop giving Tony energy and so he would go back to Death's bed. So, the sick man acted out his own death and the minute he pretended to die all of the pain and hurt was sucked out of this girl's heart and placed into Tony's giving him new life. Until this supply ran out," Debbie finished, taking a gulp of water from Justin's glass. 

"And that's how this whole fucking mess started. How Heart Snatcher's began, taking a leaf out of Tony's book and developing new equipment, which meant that they could control any person's heart they wanted. But obviously this is illegal, so most Heart's are sold on the Black Market or like picked up by nomad Heart Snatcher's," Debbie explained and Justin nodded calmly. 

"So that's what Ethan wants? My heart?" Justin asked and Debbie smiled sadly and nodded. 

"Justin, I don't need to see your heart to know you're goodness. I know that you could provide this Ethan with enough energy; probably for all his life. He wouldn't need anyone else as long as he kept you under his thumb," 

"And that's why we can't ever let you near that asshole again, you need to have someone with you at all times until that fucking micro chip thing is sucked out of you," I added and Justin frowned and looked at me. 

"Micro chip?" He asked. 

"Yeah, um. It's how he does that trance thing with you, it's how you hear the music you hear. Through the chip he placed in your heart." I answered, moving closer to Justin. 

"But when would he have got hold of my heart?" Justin wondered and I shrugged. 

"He's a tricky little fuck that's for sure," I murmured and reached forward and grabbed Justin's shoulder, rubbing circles with my thumb. 

"It'll be fine, we'll figure this out," I said softly, focusing on rubbing circles and not on my anger at the thought that Ian or Ethan or whatever, had seen Justin's heart. They had seen his heart and they had fucked with it, and that was not okay with me. It was taking all my effort to not go and hunt the fucker down. 

"Wait, did you say music?" Debbie asked suddenly, whipping round from the counter, where she'd been pouring the water down the sink.  
"Yeah," Justin nodded. 

"What kind of music?" she asked. 

"Violin music," Justin answered and I watched as Deb mouthed the words along with him.  
"Ethan Gold," she said finally and Justin nodded. 

"You know him?" 

"No," she shook her head "No, sweetie, no. I knew his father. Who'd have thought it eh? Ethan Gold. Like father like son." She shook herself out of her trance and smiled softly at the pair of us. 

"Brian take Justin to bed, will you?" I nodded and pushed to kid lightly towards the stairs, smirking as he turned round and grinned at me. 

We stopped outside the door and I shifted as Justin stared at me for a moment, desire in his eyes.  
"Thank you," he murmured huskily and stepped forward, urgently pressing his lips to mine. I let myself fall into the kiss until I realised that now really was not a good time. 

I pulled away "No, that's probably not a good idea right now," 

I watched as rejection and pain crossed his face and pulled him to me, wrapping him in a rare hug. 

"I want to. You have no idea how much I want to. But now really is not the best time for this," I murmured and pulled back, turning and walking quickly down the stairs before I had a chance to change my mind. 

"Deb?" I called as I walked down the stairs. Downstairs was silent. 

"Debbie?" I asked again, slightly louder. 

"Deb?" I walked into the kitchen and stared at the table, picking up the lone violin string in horror. 

"DEB!"

**So this is very late, and left on a cliff hanger. I'm really sorry for that, real life gets in the way sometimes. A big thanks to my brilliant beta InconspicuousBunny, who saved this chapter quite a bit. Thanks for reading! You guys are great!**


	14. Chapter 14

I splashed more paint onto the canvas and then stepped back to look at what I'd created. I could feel the frown forming on my face. For the first time in a long time, I couldn't see what I'd drawn. Sometimes, I just need to paint, to mix colours together and throw them onto white, blend them and create lines that form an image. But, right then, as I looked at the piece of work that I'd been creating for almost an hour - I saw nothing. Just anger and pain, nothing was defined and I felt like there was no texture. There was nothing to turn it from a painting into art.

"Well someone's in a bad mood,"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. For almost three weeks we've playing this game. A very frustrating and familiar game. We both know the parts we play, we talk or banter, sometimes even argue, our words laced with sexual frustration and a fight for dominance. Then one of us, or sometimes both of us, back down before we get too entangled in each other.

Fact is, I've been wanting to entangle myself in Brian Kinney for a very, very long time, but the asshole's not letting it happen.

"That obvious?" I asked and turned around, keeping my gaze trained on his beautiful eyes. We've also learned that it's best if when we talk, we focus on each other's eyes. Looking anyplace else can sometimes be a hindrance to the no sex rule we've got going on.

"That painting's a bit of a giveaway," he smirked and I turned back to canvas, biting the end of my paintbrush in annoyance.

"Yeah, I have no idea what it is either," I muttered, putting the paintbrush back on the mixing pallet and turning back around to face him. 

My eyes couldn't help but trail down the length of his body, stopping at his cock, before working their way back up to his face. He smirked at me, raising one of his eyebrows and I felt my face blush. 

"Nice suit. Going somewhere important?" I asked quickly, trying to diffuse the situation. 

"Yeah, I've got some very rich, very stupid client to schmooze," he sighed and sat down on Deb's couch. "Armani," he said, gesturing to the suit. 

"It's hot," I replied without thinking and he grinned at me. 

"Why thank you Sunshine." 

I rolled my eyes at the nickname and walked into the kitchen. 

"I heard from Emmett that you saw Dr Thomas a few days ago," he called out and I nodded, pulling some bottled water out of the fridge. 

"Yeah," I replied sitting down on a chair next to my painting. "She says, she can't take the chip out yet," 

"Why the fuck not?" Brian asked and I shrugged. 

"Ethan is already controlling my heart. He's already used his music to make me try and seek him out which means that they have to be careful about what they do. If they just pull the plug, my heart could break," I finished simply and shuddered at the thought. 

"Break?" 

"Yeah, because my heart is recognising that I love him but my brain hasn't caught up yet or some bullshit like that." I replied and Brian stared at me. 

"Fuck Justin, that's…." He trailed off. 

"I know. It's some pretty big shit." I sighed heavily, everything was so fucked. 

"That's one way of putting it," Brian smirked and I glared at him. 

"It's not funny, Brian," I said angrily and he rolled his eyes. 

"No it's not but what it is, like you said, is complete bullshit." I shook my head, stood up and turned my back to him, staring intently at my painting. 

"Justin, you've met this man once. There is no fucking way you're in love with him," Brian continued coming to stand behind me. 

"Yeah, because I have so much choice in that matter now don't I? He's got my fucking heart under control Brian! And he can mess around with it as much as he wants, 'cause no one knows where the fuck he is! Or even if Debbie is still with him! I'm terrified of when the day is gonna come and I'm going to wake up, believing that I am completely in love with Ethan. That no one, not even you, could ever compete against him!" I almost shouted and Brian regarded me coolly. "That all I know, is that I have to be with him, no matter what!" 

"Justin…" 

"No! I mean it Brian. I know you don't give a shit about love -" A fact I was painfully reminded of every night when Brian would leave me to go out tricking at Babylon. "- but it exists. And I don't want the first person I love to be some fucking evil curly haired freak who is just using my heart!" 

"Justin, would you shut the fuck up!" 

I opened my mouth to tell him where to fucking go, when he slammed his mouth down on mine. I groaned and gave into him without a second thought. He pulled me closer to him and ran his tongue over my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth to give him better access.  
Our kissing, like our talking, was hard and fast. It was fire and heat and it was just … everywhere. He was everywhere. His hands were in my hair, then on my back, stroking and kissing and touching; it was like nothing I had ever done before. 

Then, suddenly, it was gone. 

"I swear to God Brian, if you stop now, I'll have to kill you," I panted and reached for him again but he pulled away. 

"Not stopping, Sunshine, just … relocating." He smirked and dragged me upstairs. In a matter of seconds all clothes had been dumped on the floor and Brian was lying on top of me, his hands stroking through my hair. 

Our kissing had slowed down, we no longer felt the need to rush. He was here with me and there was no way either of was going to back out now. I was too lost in him and it looked as though he was the same way. He kissed his way down to the hollow of my neck and I closed my eyes and bit my lip, suddenly tensing. Brian felt the movement because he looked at my, his eyes filled with lust but also a slight concern. 

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, and I swallowed nervously. "Justin?" he pressed and I looked up at him, stretching up and kissing him softly again. 

"It's my first… I mean I haven't. This would be my first time," I whispered quietly, my hands locking around his neck. My heart thudded against my chest. I prayed that he wouldn't laugh or pull away from me, as he was so prone to doing when things got to emotional for him to deal with.  
I wasn't a total virgin, I had done pretty much everything apart from being fucked or fucking someone else. 

Brian looked down and nodded at me, looking away before kissing me again. The kiss was reassuring and almost possessive. I smiled against his lips and he hummed back. 

"It's going to hurt a little, it always will. Just, trust me?" He spoke quietly and I nodded immediately. 

"Always," I whispered, I had spoken the words without thinking, but to hear them out loud just reinforced how true they were. 

Brian took his time preparing me, trying to relax me as much as possible but I was impatient. I just wanted him. He turned me around and kissed the back of my neck. 

"Breathe, Justin," he murmured into my hair and I let out a breath that I wasn't even aware I had been holding. 

He finally pushed into me, and I gasped at the pain. He stilled his actions and I let my head fall back onto his shoulder. 

"It's okay," I whispered. "It's okay." 

Brian repeated the movement, his hand stroking down my stomach. I tilted my head to kiss him and as our lips met, I almost screamed in pain. My heart was burning. Because someone was inside me, someone who wasn't Ethan. 

Angry and passionate violin music filled my head, and all I knew was I had to get out. He had to get out of me. Now. 

"Justin?" 

His voice was so clear and so strong that the music stopped, and so did the pain. His voice was a different kind of music, lulling and seductive and laced with concern. I gasped and came back into the reality of where I was. Of who I was with. 

"I'm okay," I said, out of breath "I'm fine. I just I need you to talk." 

Brian stared at me and my face softened at the look of worry on his face. I kissed him gently on the mouth and settled back against him, moaning slightly at the contact. 

"It's fine, and so am I. Just don't stop talking." 

And he didn't. He fucked me slowly, giving my pleasure that I never could have imagined. And all the while murmuring my name, telling me things that had no real meaning. Just words, words that he managed to turn into music. 

XXXXXXXXX 

"Someone looks very pleased with himself," Emmett grinned as I slid into one of the booths in the diner. I had a few minutes before my shift started and I smiled. 

"He fucked me," I blurted out proudly, my smile turning into a full blown grin. "Three times."

"Oh he did, did he?," Emmett raised an eyebrow sceptically. "Well I guess it took him long enough." Then an impish grin spread across his face and he leant closer and grinned, "So how was he?"

"Amazing," I replied, blushing slightly at the memory of last night. "Totally amazing."

"Well, I'm happy for you," Emmett smiled but his heart wasn't quite in it and I knew why. Since Deb had gone missing, all Emmett had done was sit in the diner staring at the door as though expecting her to bound through at any second. Right on cue, the bell signalled someone had entered the diner and he looked up expectantly. I turned around too and saw Kiki, the waitress, formally Kenny the waiter, shutting the door behind her.

"They're doing everything they can Em," I murmured quietly, gripping onto his hand.

"Oh I know that Baby," he smiled "It's just … hard."

I nodded, understanding exactly what he meant.

"I know," I glanced up over Emmett shoulder and my eyes widened. My heart began to beat frantically, and I could help the sick feeling that rose in my throat. 

"Sunshine?" Em asked and, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the curly haired man, stood with a violin outside the window. He raised a finger to his lips and I understood. It was our secret, what right did anyone else have to know anything about our secret. This love was between us and only us, I couldn't let them know. I couldn't let them hurt him. 

"Everything's fine, Emmett," I said slowly, Emmett shook his head, confusion written across his face.  
Ethan lifted his hand and gestured for me to follow him, as he walked off into the crowd. And how could I do anything other than follow? 

"I have to go and face the music, Em," I smiled sadly. 

"Justin…" Emmett began, but the diner door shut him off mid-sentence.

I scanned the crowd, my heart beginning to panic as I saw no sign of Ethan. The only man who could ever give me a life of complete happiness. The only man who I could ever love, and who ever love me properly. Who would treat me properly. A twang of hurt flashed in my chest, I felt guilty. Guilty for needing Ethan when it was so obvious that I also needed Brian. We shared something truly special last night, but it's nothing compared to what I have with Ethan. It's a matter of biology, I'm destined to be with Ethan … I see that now. My feet began to walk without my permission to do so, but that was okay. Because the violins were guiding me, pulling my home. Away from the people who would only hurt me like, Byron? Was that his name? I shook myself, it didn't matter. None of it did. I was going to be with him, the one man who really mattered. My true love.

Ethan.

**Wayheyy! I have a new chapter! Thanks to my awesome beta InconspicuousBunny, and of course to you, for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

I sat and stared at the papers in front of me, not really seeing the words. My mind was on Justin, glued to images of the blond; of him smiling and laughing, kissing and fucking. Just Justin, I couldn't help it, it was like he had crawled inside my subconscious and refused to leave.

I leaned forward across my desk to grab at the glass of water, when a shot of intense pain smacked into my chest. I leant my head against the desk, and focused on breathing in and out when I realised that this pain wasn't coming from the heart in my body but from the one in my box. It was hurting badly, thumping at the inside of its box as though it was trying to break its way out.

"No, you really can't go in there… He's working… No Emmett!" I glanced up as the door swung open and Emmett marched into the room, shaking off Cynthia's hand. I rubbed at my chest, and tried to forget about the loud thumping I could feel.

"I'm sorry Boss, I tried but he just stormed straight past me." Cynthia glanced at me apologetically, still

trying to drag Emmett from the room.

"No it's fine. He can stay for a bit," I replied, pushing the papers out of the way. I needed a distraction.

"Are you sure?" Cynthia asked surprised, no doubt wondering why I wasn't yelling at her for being incompetent. "I mean, you have a load of paperwork to be doing-"

"No, it's seriously fine," I repeated, wincing a little as I stood up to wave her out of the room and shut the door behind her. I turned back to Emmett.

"What's up Honeycutt?" I asked, taking in his pale face and worried expression.

"It's Justin," he stuttered, panic clear in his voice. It felt as though both my hearts stopped beating. I groaned and rubbed at my chest again. He was going to be the fucking death of me.

"What about him?" I asked, trying to act casual and uncaring. I didn't want Emmett to know we'd fucked. Emmett had a way of spreading gossip around half of Pittsburgh in just a couple of seconds.

"Cut the act, Brian. He's disappeared," Honeycutt said urgently, stepping forward, his heels making a clicking sound on the floor.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" My voice harsh as cold dread seeped through my body, panic and fear had started to run through my veins and my heart pounded desperately against its box.

"He's gone. One moment we were in the diner, talking and the next he practically sprinted out of there. It was like he was in a trance. I doubt anything could have stopped him. But there's more," Emmett paused, watching me, his face a little unsure.

"What? For fucks sake! What?" I almost screamed, clutching tightly at my chest. Oh God, it burned. Like it was trying to rip itself out of my body, my heart was burning.

"I saw him. Ethan. I saw him as he walked away," Emmett whispered and I felt my legs give way beneath me.

"Fuck!" I cried as I fell to the floor, my legs bending at odd angles and my chest still burning. I lifted my hand to my chest and pushed at my shirt, I pulled my hand away and stared at my hand, searching for any blood. There was none, how it could it hurt so much and not be bleeding? I took shuddering breaths, hoping the oxygen would ease the pain.

"Oh my God, Brian," Emmett gasped as he rushed over to help me up

.

"Tell anyone and I'll have your balls," I grunted as he pulled me to my feet.

He nodded once as I leant against the desk. I pinched the bridge of my nose and almost growled in annoyance at the constant and now almost deafening thumping.

"For fucks sake, cut it out!" I hissed and almost smirked as the thumping quieted down to a mere background noise. I glanced over to Emmett and watched as he tapped his foot on the floor, biting his lip.

"I have an idea," I muttered.

XXXXXXXXX

"Are you sure I should drive?" Emmett shifted nervously in the car, as his hands gripped the steering wheel.

"I'm sure," I said bluntly, my grip tightening on the heart box. It was sat in my lap, and the thumping was back, every so often the box would shuffle from the intensity of it.

"But how will you know where we're going? We have no idea where he is, he's not picking up his cell-"

"Would you shut the fuck up?" I cut through Emmett babbling and he bit his lip, worry plastered across his face.

"You want to start driving some time now Emmy Lou?" I drawled, and he almost jumped into action, switching the car on and pulling out into the street. It was the first time I had let anyone other than myself drive.

I leant my head back against the head rest and closed my eyes. I let my hands run over the patterns on my heart box and took deep breaths in and out, the memory of that night pouring in and out.

"_Nice work Kinney,"_

_I turned around and my eyes landed on a short, white haired man, a glass of champagne held in his hand. He was well dressed and had laughter lines at the corner of his eyes._

"_Thank you, it was one of my most brilliant ad's I must say," I replied, my brain trying to recognise the man in front of me with no results. "And you are?"_

"_Andrew," He smiled and I shook my head slightly as he remained smiling._

"_Just Andrew?" I inquired and he laughed a little, a low sound._

"_No, I do have a last name. But as you and I will probably never meet again, is there really any point in you knowing my last name?"_

_I smiled a little, as I took a champagne glass off of one of the waiters stood nearby._

"_I guess not," I replied._

"_Walk with me Brian," he said, but the tone sounded more like a command. I followed after him, curious as to what this little man wanted to talk about._

"_You work for the Government?" I asked and he turned to me, surprise alight in his eyes._

"_Oh you are clever. How on Earth did you know?" He asked, as he lead me away from the very classy dinner party and out into the gardens._

"_You didn't give your last name. I was once told that the government, specifically Heart Trainers, never tell their last names. But I doubt Andrew is your real name?" I explained, sitting down onto a bench that overlooked a very large pond._

"_Well that is clever. Very good, you should be proud!" He replied, no hint of sarcasm in his voice, but genuine delight._

"_It wasn't that hard to figure out," I shrugged, fiddling with the glass._

"_If you know the right information," Andrew added, his eyes taking in his surroundings._

"_So are you? A Heart Trainer?" I asked, and his eyebrows shot up._

"_Yes as a matter of fact I am. And a damn good one at that."_

_I grinned at him and waited for him to speak._

"_You're advert; it struck a little close to home with the Heart Unit. I understand, that you were just trying to make the point that that Acto Drink you were trying to sell strengthens the heart, but using the idea of a man being tortured and his heart being strong enough to hold him together? Well it gave them the scare," Andrew smiled at me, as I tried to cover my shock._

"_Are you telling me that that could happen? Your heart can hold information?" I asked, keeping my face impassive._

"_I am telling you nothing of the sort," Andrew replied, his tone harsh but his eyes glinted in amusement._

"_I am just here to tell you that it would be very good if you could try to persuade your company to not run it for as long as they want to. The ad itself is brilliant stuff, but the content needs to be changed,"_

_I leant back against the bench, tilted my head up to the sky and I let out a long sigh. Months of work and money, wasted._

"_Times are changing Brian. We are finding out things about our Hearts that we never deemed possible. A man a couple of months ago, used his Heart to go looking for his little daughter after she got lost when they went on a family walk in the forest, his heart literally told him where to go. In that state of panic he tapped into his heart, and as the saying goes 'followed his heart,'."_

We had talked for a while longer and I had promised to try and stop showing the ad, which I managed to persuade my boss to do. After that Andrew had walked off, and, like he had predicted, I never saw him again.

'_His heart literally told him where to go,'_

"Take a left," I barked suddenly, not sure where the command came from but I knew without doubt it was right.

"Brian, what? Are you-"

"Do it Emmett!" My voice was urgent and I couldn't help but realise that I wasn't in control of what I was saying like I'd handed myself over to an internal satnav. I looked down at the box in my hands.

"We'll never get to him in time, he's in danger. I need to get out!" I almost yelled and twisted my head to look at Emmett, who was glancing at me with deep concern in his voice.

"Get out where?" He asked, his voice quivering.

"Keep following the road," my heart directed through me, ignoring his question. "Then take the next right and follow the road down to Witter Hall. Please, I need to get him. I can feel him in danger,"

I tried to make my mouth speak but it was like I didn't know how, I was not in control at all of what was going on. We rode for the next few minutes in almost silence, broken only by my mutterings. At certain points both my body and my heart would jerk towards the window.

"We're here Brian," Emmett said uncertainly.

It was like a bucket of freezing water had been poured over my head, I gasped and took deep gulping breaths, as I moved my jaw around happy to be back in my own body.

"Are you okay?" Emmett asked and I nodded.

"I'm fine Em, he's in there. I can feel it in my heart," I said shortly, getting out of the car.

"You're trusting your heart?" Emmett repeated dubiously.

"Yep, that was my heart directing you in the car," I replied walking over to the big and quite beautiful hall.

"Wait- what the fuck is happening?" Emmett squeaked, confusion oozing out of every inch of him.

"I don't really know Honeycutt, but Justin is in there and he's in danger. I am going in there after him and you can leave now or you can come with me, I really don't care." I answered, looking back at the hall.

"No, I'll stay," Emmett gulped and walked forward to stand next to me.

"What is this place?" I asked, looking at the lush gardens and stunning building.

"It's a wedding venue, and a wedding reception. For gays and lesbians only, it also has rooms that the married couple can stay in for a few days. Like a hotel, according to reviews it's one Pittsburgh's treasures." Emmett said importantly as we walked up to the reception.

"How the fuck did I not know about it?" I wondered out loud and Emmett burst out laughing.

"Because you wouldn't go near a wedding if your life depended on it," He giggled.

"Mel and Lindsay's," I reminded him as he opened the door. I clutched the box closer to my body as the spotty teenager behind the desk stared at us nervously.

"Urm, can I help you? No, I mean- Welcome to Witter Hall, how may I help you today?" The kid stuttered out and I stared at him. Fuck. We hadn't planned what we'd say once we got this far.

"Yes, I need to get the information of a couple that is staying in this facility," Emmett replied confidently, strutting over to the desk.

"I'm sorry," The kid murmured, "But I can't give you the names. If the couples come here, it's because they want to be married in private. No visitors allowed," he said, trying to sound firm and final but Emmett raised an eyebrow at him and he visibly gulped.

"Look little boy, I have been helping to plan this wedding for over a year now, and it has taken a lot of time and tears. I am an amazing wedding planner, and after all the trouble this has caused me I am going to meet them and watched them get married on this happy day. So you will give me directions to where they are."

I stared at the back of Emmett's head as he bullshitted smoothly to the receptionist, who shifted nervously in his seat. His gaze landed on me and his muddy eyes widened at the sight of the box in my hands.

"Is that a heart box?" He said in awe as he deliberately tried to tear his gaze away, I grinned. My heart box was beautiful, and I smirked as Emmett rolled his eyes.

"No, it's not. It's a cake. They wanted to go the full hog and have their wedding cake the shape of a heart box, it's amazing isn't it? One of my best creations, I would say. And incredibly delicious. So, I need to get the cake up to them immediately. So, the room number of Mr Gold, if you wouldn't mind," Emmett demanded, inspecting his finger nails.

I watched as the boy's gaze darted to the computer and back before he swallowed nervously again.

"There is no Mr Gold in our system," He muttered and Emmett looked back at me and mouthed 'shit'.

"Oh, I was sure it was something precious," Emmett murmured, shifting on his feet as we both tried desperately to think what to do. I had been so sure, there was no doubt that Justin was in this building.

"Look, do you promise to be quick?" The spotty kid said urgently and Emmett nodded quickly, leaning forward.

"Well, Mr Precious and his fiancé Mr Jus, are in room 203. Third floor," he relayed the information off to us and we both moved towards the elevator to the right of him.

"Wait- do both of you need to go?" He asked and Emmett looked back at me.

"My assistant here, carries my things for me. I can't bear to do it myself, but it's fine he doesn't mind. He's not got the brains bless him," Emmett said casually as the elevator doors dinged open and he sauntered into them calmly, pressing the right button as the door shut behind him.

I stared at him in disbelief, he had just bullshitted his way past one of last obstacles and he had even slipped a bit of humour into the lies as well. He turned and saw me staring, his face split into a huge grin.

"Not just a pretty face you know," He smiled and I shook my head, letting out a small breathy laugh.

"But you know Honeycutt," I said after a few seconds silence, "when this whole thing is over," the doors pinged open and we both stepped out into the empty corridor, "I'm kicking your ass."

Emmett smiled. "Oh it was so worth it," he sighed happily, turning to the left and walking down the corridor, checking the door numbers.

"Here," he said suddenly, stopping in front of a door. I set my heart box on the floor and looked up at Emmett.

"Watch it," I pointed back at my box and Emmett nodded and moved round the other side of me. I stepped back a little bit and then kicked at the door, watching in slight amusement as it swung forward easily, hitting the wall with a bang. I stormed into the small hotel like room and stopped dead. It was deadly quiet. There was no one in. I checked in the bathroom and walked into the kitchenette.

I stopped dead and stared down at the floor. Deb was tied up and gagged against one of the walls, her eyes watching me. I leaned down and pulled the gag out of her mouth.

"Well it's about fucking time!" She bellowed and I grinned, so happy despite myself. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"You knew I would find you ma," I whispered and she nodded, sniffling a little bit.

"Stay here," I murmured and stood up to go and get Emmett.

"Where the fuck would I go?" I heard Deb screech and chuckled softly as I ran to get Emmett, who was stood staring at my box.

"Go and untie Deb, she's in the kitchenette." I told him.

"She's alive," he gasped, his eyes filling with tears. "Oh my god. DEBBIE!" He screamed as he ran into the room and I heard the two of the sobbing together.

I grinned despite myself, and walked back into the room. My box tucked under my arm.

I watched as Emmett bought Debbie shakily into the small living room, his arm around her shoulders as they cried together.

"Well, well, well. Isn't this touching?"

I turned round to see Ethan stood in the doorway, with Justin nestled into his side, his big blue eyes staring at me as if I was nothing more than a stranger.

So, there you go. Another cliffhanger- sorry! The good news is, that the next chapter will be uploaded really really soon. Thanks to InconspicuousBunny who very patiently helps me to turn my ideas into better stories, and thank you to you for reading.


	16. Chapter 16

"Come to see the show boys?" Ethan asked as he detached himself from Justin, who looked so scared and so lost the minute he lost contact with him. Ethan reached into the wardrobe and pulled out a box; Justin's box.

The most beautiful box I had ever seen. I lurched forwards, noticing that the box in my hand did exactly the same thing.

"Brian!"

Debbie pulled me back and I stared at her angrily, I just wanted to look at it. Just look and then maybe touch and hold. And hold and never let go.

"You can't do that, Brian," she said calmly, as if talking to a child.

"I just want to look," I said, stepping forward again.

"No Brian!" Debbie shook her head firmly. "It's a violation Brian. Justin at this moment in time, doesn't feel anything for you. Not anything, by touching his box you are basically raping him,"

The words cut through me and I stopped short. The thought made me feel physically sick, like I could ever hurt him.

"Ohhh clever lady. She's right though Brian, he feels nothing for you. He just loves me, don't you sweetie?" Ethan asked, turning to Justin.

"Oh so, so much," Justin fawned, reaching for him but Ethan backed away, grinning at me.

"So you guys arrived just in time," Ethan said happily.

"In time for what?" Emmett asked shakily.

"The heart break," Ethan replied casually. I staggered backwards as though he had physically hit me.

"What?" I hissed.

"The heart break," he repeated slowly. "Jussy here is all hooked up to my heart machine, so when I break his heart the power will flow to me. And then he can go back to you guys and you can spend the next three years or more trying to bring him out from the depression that I will send him in to."

I looked curiously at Ethan. He didn't seem happy about the prospect of tearing Justin apart which confused me. A power freak like him, I thought this would have been like a bonus, but he looked really sad.

"There are some people in the world, who bad things happened to. And most of the time these people don't ever deserve it, Justin's one of them." He stepped forward and caressed Justin's cheek. My hands clenched into fists and I gritted my teeth.

"I love you," Justin murmured, leaning into his hand.

"I love you," Ethan mouthed back and I frowned, when it all clicked. Ethan loved Justin, or at least he thought he did. I began laughing, really, really laughing.

"Shut up!" Ethan yelled and I stifled another laugh.

"You think, you actually think he loves you. You made him feel this way, this isn't love he's feeling. This is the fakest emotion there is because it is a hundred percent false. He hates you Ian, he used to tell me. Every day how much he hated you for making him feel this way."

"Shut up! Shut up!" Ethan roared, his face twisted into ugly hurt, and I chuckled.

"It won't stop me," he said breathlessly, "I still have to do this,"

"And if I call the police?" Emmett spoke up, a cell held in his hand.

"Then I shoot him," Ethan had pulled a gun out from his pants faster than a blink of the eye. He pointed it directly at Justin, who seemed completely unaware of the danger he was in, I stared as panic swept over my body.

"I will shoot him, it'll be a shame because I'll never get caught. I'll be able to disappear out of here quicker than you can say Justin. So, why don't you just drop the cell and we can carry on like normal."

If he broke Justin's heart, he would automatically go into a deep depression for at least three years, it was what happened to everyone, but if he killed Justin then he would be dead. And I would never see him again.

"Put down the cell Emmett," I muttered over my shoulder..

"Smart choice, Kinney," Ethan smirked as he put away his gun and turned back to Justin.

"Now, Justin…" He started and I closed my eyes and blocked out the sound. I couldn't listen to this, I didn't even know how I was gonna manage trying to piece Sunshine back together afterwards let alone as it happened.

My mind flashed back to that night, that really fucking brilliant night. Finally, we had been together and I had claimed a part of him, a part of me was lodged inside him, the same way Justin was buried deep in me. I knew he was so much more than a usual trick and although the thought frightened the fuck out of me, I couldn't help it.

And part of me was sure, really sure, that the minute Justin's heart broke, mine would as well. Maybe not on as huge a scale, but it would still hurt. I stared at Justin's box, which was lying quietly in Ethan's hand. He wasn't holding it right. It was like he thought it was just a box but it wasn't, it was Justin's box and that made all the difference. It shouldn't be in his hands, it should be in mine. Where it could be safe.

I looked down at my own box, and felt like crying as I heard its whimpering, pushing desperately against my hands.

I bent down and placed it on the floor, watching as it shuffled a millimetre forward, trying to crawl over to Ethan, trying more than anything to reach Justin.

"_It's fine, and so am I. Just don't stop talking."_

I snapped my head up from the floor and looked over to Justin, who was watching Ethan speak as though his life depended on it. And I knew what to do, he had told me. That night, he had told me how to help. I just had to talk, to fill his head with my voice.

"Justin," I said clearly and began to talk.

I talked through Debbie's hushed tones, warning me to not piss him off, I talked through Emmett's little whimpers as Ethan's words got harsher, I talked through Ethan's death stares and crude warnings, and I talked through Justin's confused mutterings.

His blonde hair shook as he twisted his head from me to Ethan and back again. His face was scrunched up in what looked like agonizing pain, and yet he seemed at his most beautiful because he looked so pure. He was stripped off in front of me, completely vulnerable, and so, so strong.

"Justin please," I almost screamed over the top of Ethan's vile words, words that had been crafted by hate and a lust for power that was so strong it destroyed everything it touched. "I know that you're in there, not this Justin, but my Justin," I sighed and shook my head "Our Justin. Debbie's and Emmett's and Lindsay's. Our Justin. The Justin who found beauty in a pair of trees, the Justin who laughs at the fucking stupidest things, the Justin that gets under my skin, the cocky little shit that wouldn't take no for an answer. So come back, because I…." I paused and looked back at Debbie and Em "… because I need you."

And with that there was a huge bang and the room was bathed with light. I blinked up through it, squinting my eyes to find that our heart boxes had flown into each other and up into the air. They hovered before sinking back onto the double bed in the middle of the room.

"NO!" Ethan screamed "It's impossible!"

I looked over to see Justin lying unconscious on the floor and started towards him, when Deb grabbed at my arm.

"GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR!"

I blinked and suddenly the room was filled with the police, screaming at all of us to get down, whilst an unknown cop pressed his fingers against Justin's neck.

"What the fuck?" Debbie repeated over and over again, her voice slightly muffled, by the carpet.

I strained against the cop that was basically sat on my back, and tried to lift my head off the ground to see Justin, but he kept pushing my head down forcefully.

"Ooh yeah, I called the police," Emmett cheerful voice floated over to me and my jaw dropped.

"You called the cops? When the fuck did you do that?" I asked croakily, in disbelief, my cheek pressing deep into the carpet.

"Outside, when I was guarding your heart box. Hey, I told you I wasn't just a pretty face," He giggled and I sighed in both disbelief and relief. Then I heard the words that put me at complete peace.

"Don't touch the boxes. One of them is the blonde's, I've got the tracking device in and one of them has got an Infected Heart in. As the blonde out cold, we need to wait till he wakes up before trying to separate them. The blonde's fine, his pulse is normal. He'll be out of it for a while though. And you Mr 'Precious'," one of the cops said mockingly, his voice shaking slightly with undisguised anger "I'm gonna make sure that you go to jail for the rest of your fucking life."


End file.
